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Early Chinese Newspapers in Singapore 1881 - 1941

2010-04-05T00:27:00.023+08:00

Introduction

This article explores how the study of the early Chinese newspapers during the period of 1881 – 1941 is a useful approach in which we can better understand the history of Singapore. This can be observed in light of the impact that the Chinese press had on the development of the Chinese society in Singapore through its pedagogical functions, as well as its political role in facilitating the socialization process of the Chinese community. One can also gain a clearer picture about the general social conditions in Singapore during this period by observing the readership patterns of Chinese newspapers then. The roles of the Straits Chinese, as the main actors involved in the setting up of these Chinese newspapers, are also recognized to be influential in the shaping of Singapore’s history. Thus, it is through the study of the early Chinese press that we can clearly see and acknowledge this aspect of their historical contributions to society. During this period, the reasons behind the founding of the Chinese newspapers in Singapore were often politically motivated. Each newspaper took on a unique characteristic and position along the political axis. It is pertinent to note that behind the founding of each newspaper was an elite member of the Chinese community who held a particular political inclination and it was through the medium of newspapers that their ideologies were perpetuated.

Chinese newspapers as a form of popular culture

When the Lat Pau emerged in 1881, there were 139, 208 people in Singapore of whom 86, 766 were Chinese. [1] Yet within the Chinese community, most of them were either illiterate or were too consumed by their mercantilist pursuits to read Chinese newspapers. As trade flourished in the city around 1890s, an influx of businessmen and a new working class created a demand for more Chinese newspapers. Subsequently, a number of newspapers sprouted which created a dynamic and vibrant industry, each trying to outdo the other in terms of readership and influence in the Chinese community. In this article, we adopt a working definition of the term ‘popular culture’ as “the beliefs and practices, and the objects through which they are organized, that are widely shared among a population”. [2] Chinese newspapers then can be argued to be an object of popular culture in that they functioned as a form of mass media in a time where other forms were absent. Though Chinese journalism had humble beginnings with a small group of readership, their newspapers blossomed among the Chinese community in the years to follow. This widespread influence was especially so during the Nanyang Siang Pau and Sin Chew Jit Poh period as both were “organized along the lines of modern companies and emphasized the importance of sales and circulation”. [3] Moreover, these companies had the technological edge over many other newspapers due to the use of an advance printing machine, an issue that would be elaborated upon below.

List of the early Chinese newspapers, 1881 - 1941

Name	Duration of existence	Reasons for founding
Lat Pau	1881 - 1932	Multifarious
Sing Pao	1890 - 1899	Multifarious
Thien Nan Shin Pao	1898 - 1905	Political (Pro-reformist)
Jit Shin Pao	1889 - 1901	Multifarious
Thoe Lam Jit Poh	1904 - 1905	Political (Pro-revolutionary)
Chong Shing Yit Poh	1907 - 1910	Organ of the Singapore T'ung Meng-Hui
The Union Times	1906 - 1948	Political
Sun Pao	1909 - 1910	Multifarious
Nam Kew Poh	1911 - 1914	Organ of the Singapore KMT and the T'ung Meng-Hui
Kok Min Jit Poh	1914 - 1919	Organ of the Singapore KMT
Chin Nam Poh	1913 - 1920	Multifarious
Sin Kuo Min Poh	1919 - 1939	Organ of the Singapore KMT
Nanyang Siang Pau	1923 - 1983	Multifarious
Nan To Jih Pao	1923 - 1925	Multifarious
Sin Chew Jit Poh	1929 - 1983	Multifarious
Min Kuo Jit Pao	1930 - 1934	Organ of the Singapore KMT
Sin Chung Jit Poh	1935 - 1942	Multifarious

Period I: 1881 – 1906
Origins of political consciousness

A study of the early Chinese press allows us to glean insights into the origins of political consciousness among the Chinese immigrants in Singapore. The founding of Chinese newspapers from the late nineteenth century onwards were often politically motivated and undertaken to promote the ideologies and causes of the various actors. As a haven for Chinese political exiles, Singapore’s society and politics were increasingly influenced by the two opposing ideological groups and their respective proponents, namely the reformists and revolutionaries. The former aimed at saving China from decline through political and constitutional transformation while the latter was determined to overthrow the existing regime in China as they felt it was hopelessly corrupt and self-serving, neglecting the interests of the people. The Hundred Days Reform Movement in China, 1898, was a seminal event that sparked the growth of the Chinese press in Singapore. In that year, the Thein Nan Shin Pao was founded as the first Chinese newspaper to be started primarily on politically-motivated grounds. [4] It functioned as an organ of the reformist movement which had spread to Singapore by then. In 1899, Lim Boon Keng, a reformist, took over the Jit Shin Pao and re-oriented it to reflect reformist leanings. [5] The revolutionary movement took a little longer to establish itself in Singapore and it was only in 1904 that the Thoe Lam Jit Poh was founded as the revolutionary equivalent of the reformist newspapers, followed by others such as the Chong Shing Yit Poh in 1907. [6] These newspapers, as mouthpieces for the various Chinese nationalists or revolutionaries, fostered the political consciousness of the overseas Chinese in Singapore and became increasingly influential in mobilizing monetary and political support for their respective causes. [7]

Social conditions of the day

The low readership levels and small numbers of the Chinese newspapers in existence reveal much about the lifestyles of the Chinese population and society in general during the early period of Singapore’s history. The first Chinese newspaper in Singapore, the Lat Pao, was started in 1881 with an initial circulation of 350 copies and never went above 600 copies subsequently. [8] This represented only a tiny percentage of the 86,766 strong Chinese population in 1881 which can be explained by the low levels of literacy among the Chinese population as well as the lack of time for the indulgence of leisurely activities such as reading, due to the economic hardships of the predominantly working class population. [9] The early settlers were mainly merchants, political refugees or poverty-stricken peasants, and it was these groups of people and not the scholar-gentry class in China which migrated to Singapore. [10] Many Chinese worked as coolies in the docks, manually transporting cargo to and from the ships that arrived. Others worked as ‘rickshaw coolies’, an equally or even more physically demanding occupation of ferrying passengers for up to ten to twelve hours daily on Singapore’s busy and chaotic streets. [11] The situation changed significantly after the turn of the century, whereby both readership levels and the number of newspaper publishers increased, reflecting the changing socio-economic dynamics in Singapore. The intensification of the influx of Chinese immigrants from the 1900s onwards increased the pool of literate Chinese who eventually became shopkeepers, clerks and merchants, increasing the demand for quality Chinese publications and newspapers. [12] As such, the proliferation of Chinese newspapers reveals both the changing demographics of that time brought about especially by the rapid growth of the Chinese population, as well as the growing prosperity of the colony; in particular the middle and upper classes constituted most of the demand for these newspapers.

Preservation of Chinese culture and identity

The study of the early Chinese newspapers in Singapore also provides insights into how the modern Chinese community in Singapore has been able to maintain its distinctive character throughout the generations due to the spread of Chinese culture and education, a process in which the Chinese newspapers played an indispensable role. [13] Among other developments such as the founding of the Chinese consulate in Singapore in 1877 which allowed for the Ching government to extend its political and cultural influence to the overseas Chinese in Singapore, as well as the role of the clan organizations in the preservation of Chinese identity, the founding of the first Chinese newspaper, the Lat Pau, was similarly a key landmark in the development of Chinese cultural identity in Singapore. [14] For the first time, literate Chinese throughout the region were linked together by a medium of communication and information about social and political developments back in China, effectively serving as a bridge linking the overseas Chinese community and China. While its contemporary rivals were caught up in the political struggles among the pro-Ching conservatives, the reformists and the revolutionaries, the Lat Pau remained neutral and viewed itself primarily as a social educator than a political tool of any side of which its main responsibilities were to inculcate traditional Chinese values into the minds of the overseas Chinese; to arouse enthusiasm about Chinese culture as well as to strive for the retention of Chinese identity based on Confucian morality. [15] Regardless of their political inclinations, both the reformist and revolutionary newspapers nonetheless aided the spread of Chinese culture and identity as well. For instance, during the Confucian revival movement in Singapore, the reformist Thien Nan Shin Pao and Jit Shin Pao and Sing Po newspapers fervently backed the movement, reproducing speeches and articles which extolled Confucian values. [16] Conversely, the revolutionary Thoe Lam Jit Poh, Chong Shing Yit Pao, Nam Kew Pao, and Sun Pao newspapers, despite propagating differing ideologies from the former group, ultimately served to foster and strengthen the cultural roots of the overseas Chinese through the issues debated which drew attention to China-centred issues. [17] Thus, the role that the early Chinese newspapers played, alongside other developments, was an important one in the preservation of the Chinese identity and heritage throughout the generations.

The contributions made and the roles played by Straits Chinese

A better understanding of the Straits Chinese in terms of their contributions to society and also their privileged status in colonial society can be obtained through the study of the early Chinese press in Singapore. The Straits Chinese, also known as the Peranakans, are an ethnically Chinese group with mixed Malayan or East Indies heritage. In 1901, the Straits Chinese consisted only about 10 percent of the total Chinese population, with the figure doubling a decade later. [18] Though a minority, the Straits-born Chinese group was largely considered to be an elite class due to their domination of the Chinese economy throughout the 19th Century, as well as their English-speaking abilities and strong loyalty to the British Crown which led the British to view them favorably, even extending certain political concessions and representation to them as a result. [19] Their material wealth and financial capabilities enabled them to own and start many of the Chinese newspapers in Singapore. Tan Chor Nam, Lim Nee Soon and Teo Eng Hock were three of the most important revolutionaries in Singapore in the early 1900s. [20] These men were wealthy Babas who collaborated to start Singapore’s first revolutionary newspapers, such as the Thoe Lam Jit Poh and the Chong Shing Yit Poh. [21] Dr Lim Boon Keng was another prominent Baba who started some of the early reformist newspapers such as the Thien Nan Shin Pao, among others. Collectively, these newspapers influenced the formation of a common Chinese identity among the diverse Chinese dialects and groups. These Chinese newspaper ventures can thus be seen as one aspect of how the Straits Chinese were able to contribute positively to society as well as help us to better understand the important role that this minority group played in the history of the Chinese in Singapore. Furthermore, the fact that the Straits Chinese initiated many Chinese newspapers also highlights their upper-class social status brought about by their wealth, an aspect which contributes to our knowledge about the history of the Straits Chinese in Singapore.

Period II: 1906 – 1941
Internal structure of Chinese newspapers portrayed the gender inequality of women

From a study of the internal structure of Chinese newspapers, one could infer an aspect of Singapore’s history that was eminent in those days: gender inequality. Before the 20th century, the ratio of male to female was highly skewed as Singapore experienced a high influx of mainly male migrant Chinese workers who left various parts of China, striving for a better life in the lively entrepot-trading city of Singapore. However, at the turn of the century, Singapore’s demographics started to shift towards a more gender-balanced society, especially in around 1920. [22] Amidst all these transitions, the sizeable presence of women did little to alter their societal standing and their ‘traditional role’ in the family. In other words, society continued to be male-dominated and it remained as such not later in the century when women were gradually empowered, emerging out of their homes to join the workforce. The internal structure of early Chinese newspapers was a reflection of the patriarchal society as there was no sign of women editors in any of them. Editors tended to be male, highly educated Chinese of which women fall into neither category. Women were often relegated to doing domestic chores, aligning with the ‘model wife’ construct in Confucian thought. Therefore, Chinese girls were brought up with little access to education and thus needless to say, almost no opportunity in securing a job. It was a common scenario faced by many Chinese parents in those days, to be unable to provide for all of their children’s education. Thus, as customary traditions tended to favour sons, girls were denied of any chance to be educated and left with the mundane option of learning household skills such as cooking and sewing. [23] Occasionally, there will be a few girls from well-to-do families that are given the rare go at being educated. However, this would most possibly be met with objections since there was a social stigma women faced, which relegates them to the domestic domain. Chinese journalism appears to be one of those occupations often restricting female participation.

Early 1920s: Chinese press pursued technology, reflecting the modernization of Singapore

One of the positive developments which arose during the colonial period in Singapore was the massive technological advancements made. When the British came to Singapore, not only did they bring their western ideals and notions, they also brought in technology. For instance the establishment of the first broadcasting station in 1935 by the British Malaya Broadcasting Corporation and the introductions of films at the Victoria Memorial Hall in 1901. [24] As Singapore was undergoing technological transformations, the press industry became notable for latching onto this trend towards modernization. Among them, Nanyang Siang Pau was the first to use the advanced rotary printing machine. [25] The rotary printing machine was able to print double sided at very high speeds, which made it suitable for overnight printing. [26] When they adopted its use in 1928, it was the most advanced at that time; subsequently other newspapers followed suit in order to match Nanyang Siang Pau’s production capabilities. [27]

From analyzing the modernizing efforts of newspapers companies, it fits into the wider narrative of Singapore history whereby society was in a period of rapid advancements. Besides the growth of the aforementioned broadcasting and film industry, the gramophone industry was slowly gaining momentum in Singapore. However, due to the high rural rates, poor access to electricity and most pertinent of all, the inability to afford technology, the gramophone industry was unable to flourish. [28] In sum, this period was a time when many technological improvements were imported into Singapore and it was the Chinese newspapers were part of the trendsetters, embracing this shift into modernity.

Mid-1920s growth of radical left-wing politics: The first expression of anti-British sentiments

When the Chinese press first emerged in the late 1890s, the British adopted at that stage a “laissez-faire attitude” towards them, neither interfering nor devoting much attention to their views and opinions. [29] However, this statement did not hold true throughout the period of 1906 – 1941. In fact, the contrary often took place as newspapers began to take on a political bent. The mid-1920s was the period when the British became wary of Chinese newspapers as many started to express anti-British and anti-colonial sentiments. [30] Prior to that, Chinese newspapers were either neutral (Lat Pau), pro-reformist (Thien Nan Shin Pao) or pro-revolutionary (Thoe Lam Jit Poh), but never outrightly anti-British. Once again, by knowing that Chinese newspapers tended to represent the political ideologies of particular Chinese elites and acted in response to the prevailing historical context at any particular time, one is able to catch a glimpse of the socio-political dynamics of that period by researching them. In addition, by observing the British’s varying attitudes towards the Chinese newspapers, a broader picture of Singapore’s history could be seen.

Since the bitter clashes between the pro-reformists and pro-revolutionaries engendered in early 1900s, the ideological battles were made salient in the minds of the Chinese. This was largely a result of the influence of Chinese newspapers and its effectiveness in the absence of all other forms of mass media. [31] In 1912, the revolutionaries prevailed; Republican China was established and ruled by the leading Kuomintang (KMT) party. It signalled the end of the clash between the reformists and revolutionaries but at the same time, marked the start of a new struggle between the KMT and the communists later on. Soon after the KMT was set up, representatives were sent to organize an overseas branch in Singapore. [32] They did so for two main reasons, one was the need to garner support and loyalty for the KMT party, and the other was to solicit funds from the numerous migrant Chinese situated here. And it was none other than the Chinese newspapers that served as the conduit for the KMT to exert a certain amount of political influence on the Chinese in Singapore. The first organ of the Singapore KMT was the Nan Kew Pao (1911 – 1914), which was succeeded by the Kok Min Jit Poh (1914 – 1919), followed by Sin Kuo Min Poh (1919 – 1939) and Min Kuo Jih Poh (1930 – 1934). As seen, the average lifespan of these political organs of the KMT was short due to the increasingly harsh censorship of these Chinese press. On the other hand, one must note that not all of the numerous Chinese newspapers that existed between 1906 – 1941 were political. For instance, the Sin Chew Jit Poh began with an aim of “enlightening the general public and supplementing the inadequate formal education system without any partisan interest or motive”. [33] Such newspapers were seldom subject to suppressive controls by the colonial government provided they did not overstep the political boundaries.

Following China’s diplomatic fiasco at the 1919 Versailles Peace Conference, Singapore “experienced a revitalized Chinese nationalism” which came mainly in the form of communism. [34] The British government responded by amending the Printing Presses Ordinance in March 1920 to wield greater political control over the Chinese press. This Ordinance underwent further alterations in 1930 and again 1939 in response to the political circumstances of each particular period. [35] In 1923, the Colonial Secretary ordered the Nanyang Siang Pau to cease publication for three months for their dissenting articles against the Peking warlord Government in China. The colonial administration brandished this political ‘weapon’ against the Union Times again in 1929 for similar reasons. [36] Moreover, the arrival Sir Cecil Clementi spelled further trouble for Chinese newspapers, and in particular the party organ of the KMT. Apathetic towards Chinese nationalism, Sir Clementi dealt harshly with the local KMT, on one occasion banishing Png Chi Ching, the editor of the Min Kuo Jit Poh. [37] In sum, the strife between the Chinese newspapers and the hard-line stance taken to control their political influences delineates the ideological complexities that were occurring during that time. A typical Chinese would have been caught in the midst of the ‘battles’, pulled to different camps be it pro-communist, pro-nationalist or even pro-British. However, the fact that the British opted to take such drastic measures against them showed that the Chinese press was perceived to be a threat to colonial dominance by functioning as a formidable political tool, having the potential to unite the Chinese towards a common cause as seen from the National Salvation Movement in the years 1937 – 1941.

The climax of Anti-Japanese sentiments: 1937 – 1941

Despite the fierce literary contestations in the ‘battle of the pens,’ the extent to which newspapers garnered the unity of the Chinese community could be argued to be marginal. This was largely attributed to the British Government’s “repression and the growth of indigenous nationalism” that proved “strong enough to arrest the spread of the tide of Chinese nationalism”. [38] However, it was the anti-Japanese campaign called the ‘National Salvation Movement’ in the years 1937 – 1941 that captured the hearts of almost the entire Chinese community, with the exception of the Straits Chinese who generally did not feel obligated to react to the upheavals in China. This movement caused a revival in both the KMT and the Malayan Communist Party (MCP) after a spate of ill-fated suppression by the British during Sir Clementi’s rule. Once more, the Chinese newspapers played a crucial role in the promulgation of the National Salvation Movement agendas. Utilizing the newspapers as a propaganda tool, many Chinese were mobilized to fight against Japanese oppression in China. [39] It was a period in which the Chinese society tried to look beyond its internal ideological and political differences to unite against the invasion of the Japanese. Yet however, even at the brink of defeat by the Japanese it was unfortunate that within the Chinese community, the failure to relinquish fully their various political inclinations towards a common objective persisted.

During the Japanese occupation, all Chinese newspapers were seized and many Chinese journalists lost their lives. However, the Japanese decided to take over the Nanyang Siang Pau’s facilities to produce their own organ for the promotion of law and order in the Straits settlement and Malay States and to “propagate calls for loyalty to the Japanese regime.” [40]

Conclusion

This article has attempted to grasp a better understanding of Singapore’s history through the lenses of an object of popular culture: Chinese newspapers. Compared to the monotonous and suppressed press industry Singaporeans experience today, the journalism sphere in the past was a much more dynamic and vibrant. We have shown that the Chinese newspapers each embodied a unique identity depending largely on the founders’ and the editors’ political inclinations. Some were generally neutral, yet many took on a blatant political bent. This was met with harsh censorship by the British administrations, increasingly intensified from the 1920s onwards. Upon studying the Chinese newspapers, certain aspects of the Singapore history were illuminated, which includes the social conditions, gender inequality, the shift to modernity, the struggle between the British government and their subjects, and the role of newspapers in uniting the Chinese against Japanese oppression.

References

Chen Ai Yen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980.” In A History of Singapore, edited by Ernest C. T. Chew and Edwin Lee, (Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1991), pp. 293
Chandra Mukerji & Michael Schudson, Rethinking Popular Culture, (California: UCLA Press, 1991), pp. 3-4
Chen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980.” In A History of Singapore, p. 294
C.F Yong, Chinese Leadership and Power in Colonial Singapore, (Singapore: Times Academic Press, 1992), p.309
Chui, "Political Attitudes and Organizations, c.1900-1941”, A History of Singapore, p. 68
Ibid, p.69
Ibid.
National Library Board, Singapore Infopedia, “First Chinese Newspaper”, http://infopedia.nl.sg/articles/SIP_33_2005-01-11.html (accessed 24 March, 2010)
Chen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980”, A History of Singapore, p. 293
Thomas Tsu Wee Tan, Your Chinese Roots: The Overseas Chinese Story, (Singapore: Times Books International, 1986), p.62
Mark Ravinder Frost and Yu Mei Balasingamchow, Singapore: A Biography, (Singapore: Editions Didier Millet, 2009), pp.152-3
Chen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980.” In A History of Singapore, p293
Yen Ching Hwang, A Social History of the Chinese in Singapore and Malaya, 1800-1911, (Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1986), p.320
Ibid., p.284
Ibid., p.286
Yen Ching Hwang, Community and Politics: The Chinese in Colonial Singapore and Malaysia, (Singapore: Times Academic Press, 1995), p.235
Yen, A Social History of the Chinese in Singapore and Malaya, 1800-1911, p.320
Jurgen Rudolph, Reconstructing Identities: A Social History of the Babas in Singapore, (Singapore: Ashgate Publishing, 1998), p.103
Ibid.
Mark Ravinder Frost, “Transcultural Diaspora: The Straits Chinese in Singapore, 1819-1918”, Asian Research Institute, Working Paper Series No. 10, p.34
Frost and Balasingamchow, Singapore: A Biography, p.192
Ibid., p.204
Song Ong Siang, One hundred Years' History of the Chinese in Singapore, (Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1984), p.247
Chen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980”, A History of Singapore, pp.300 – 1
Lim Jim Joon, Our 70 years History of Leading Chinese Newspapers in Singapore, (Singapore: Singapore Press Holdings, 1993), p.82
Rotary Printing Press [US], “Virtual Action in Informatics”, http://cs-exhibitions.uni-klu.ac.at/index.php?id=506. (Accessed 27 March 2010)
Lim, Our 70 years history of leading Chinese newspapers in Singapore, p. 82
Tan Sooi Beng, “The 78 RPM Record Industry in Malaya Prior to World War II”, Asian Music, Vol. 28/1, (Autumn, 1996 - Winter, 1997), pp.33 – 34
Chen Mong Hock, The Early Chinese Newspapers of Singapore: 1881-1912, (Singapore: University of Malaya, 1967), p.118 .
C.M. Turnbull, A History of Singapore: 1819-1988, (Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1988 p.131
Chen, The Early Chinese Newspapers of Singapore: 1881-1912, p.140
Chui, "Political attitudes and organizations, c.1900-1941”, A history of Singapore, p.70
Sin Chew Jit Poh 50^th Anniversary Souvenir Magazine, 1929 – 1979, (Singapore: Sin Chew Jit Poh, 1980), p.146
Yong, Chinese Leadership and Power in Colonial Singapore, p.312
Ibid.
Ibid., p.313
Chui, "Political attitudes and organizations, c.1900-1941.", A history of Singapore, p.71
Ibid., p.74
Chen, “The Mass Media, 1819-1980.” In A History of Singapore, p.295
Ibid. p.294

Bibliography

Books and Journals

**Chen, Ai Yen. “The Mass Media, 1819-1980”, A History of Singapore, eds. Ernest C. T. Chew and Edwin Lee, pp. 288-311, Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1991.**

Chen, Mong Hock. The Early Chinese Newspapers of Singapore: 1881-1912, Singapore: University of Malaya, 1967.

Frost, Mark Ravinder and Yu Mei Balasingamchow. Singapore: A Biography, Singapore: Editions Didier Millet, 2009.

Frost, Mark Ravinder. “Transcultural Diaspora: The Straits Chinese in Singapore, 1819-1918”, Asian Research Institute Working Paper, Series No. 10 (2003), p1-46.

Lim, Jim Joon. Our 70 years History of Leading Chinese Newspapers in Singapore, Singapore: Singapore Press Holdings, 1993.

Mukerji, Chandra and Michael Schudson, Rethinking Popular Culture, California: UCLA Press, 1991.

Rudolph, Jurgen. Reconstructing Identities: A Social History of the Babas in Singapore, Singapore: Ashgate Publishing, 1998.

Sin Chew Jit Poh 50^th Anniversary Souvenir Magazine: 1929 – 1979, Singapore: Sin Chew Jit Poh, 1980.

Song, Ong Siang. One Hundred Years’ History of the Chinese in Singapore, Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1984.

Tan, Sooi Beng. “The 78 RPM Record Industry in Malaya Prior to World War II”, Asian Music, Vol. 28/1, (Autumn, 1996 - Winter, 1997) : pp. 1-41, http://www.jstor.org/stable/834504 (accessed 24 March 2010)

Tan, Thomas Tsu Wee. Your Chinese Roots: The Overseas Chinese Story, Singapore: Times Books International, 1986.

Turnbull, C.M. A History of Singapore: 1819-1988, Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1989.

Yen, Ching Hwang. A Social History of the Chinese in Singapore and Malaya, 1800-1911, Singapore: Oxford University Press, 1986.

Yen, Ching Hwang. Community and Politics: The Chinese in Colonial Singapore and Malaysia, Singapore: Times Academic Press, 1995.

Yong, C.F. Chinese Leadership and Power in Colonial Singapore, Singapore: Times Academic Press, 1992.

Websites

Rotary Printing Press [US], “Virtual Action in Informatics”, http://cs-exhibitions.uni-klu.ac.at/index.php?id=506. (Accessed 27 March 2010)

National Library Board, Singapore Infopedia, “First Chinese Newspaper”, http://infopedia.nl.sg/articles/SIP_33_2005-01-11.html (Accessed 25 April 2010)

30th November 2009

2009-11-30T12:47:00.000+08:00

One more day till the finish of yet another semester - the busiest so far. Seeing the trend of how workloads and stress are compounded, there is hardly any motivation to look forward till next semester. On flipside, each semester there is personal improvements, like better time management, better stress-management, and not to forget, becoming more apt to find joy in the midst of busyness. So maybe the sum will kind of balance off itself, a natural form of progress in life; in particular the singaporean life.

The last post was dated sept 11, 2009. brings to mind what i have been studying about this semester - the nebulous issue of terrorism. so whilst studying for "international politics of southeast asia," i stumbled across this video that shook the perceptions i held about the whole war on terrorism. "Breaking the silence - Truth and Lies in The War on Terror" is what it is entitled. A 50 min documentary done by an award winning journalist, John Pilger which you can find here, offered a side the mass media seldom cover, or rather seldom dares to cover. Pilger argues how terrorism always refers to 'the others,' the taliban, Al-Qaeda, the various factions in Asia but never acknowledging that it was Uncle Sam who first gave these people a foundation, a platform to exploit their religion to their warp causes and therefore granting the US the biggest terrorism of all; who through their interference and "anointed" role of a global policeman has stucked their noses far too deep into the affairs of others, and in doing so, bungled and messed up just to await blow-back effects on themselves and their faithful supporters. The plight of the thousands of innocent Afghan people depicted in the video was heart-wrenching and we should all pound on heaven's door and ask why do the innocent civilians always have to pay for the heinous evil deeds of others!

This is where Rousseau would interject and say "ah, the ill effects of society!" ...

"whence came the national wars, battles, murders, and reprisals that make nature tremble and offend reason, and all those horrible prejudices that rank the honor of shedding human blood among the virtues. The most decent people learned to consider it one of their duties to kill their fellow men. Finally, men were seen massacring one another by the thousands without knowing why. More murders were committed in a single day of combat and more horrors in the capture of a single city than were committed in the state of nature during entire centuries over the face of the earth"

250 years ago, Rousseau already foresaw the outcome of men entering into society. The consequence of pursuing and advancing mankind in the name of 'development' yet what has turned out is the exact opposite. one just has to consider the past century and think of all the wars the world has seen, only to fear the onset of the next.

"and that all the subsequent progress has been in appearance so many steps towards the perfection of the individual, and in fact toward the decay of the species"

May God help us.

A time to be quiet

2009-09-11T00:28:00.008+08:00

Life does get noisy. routine drowns out the brilliance, rushing stifles the creativity. 5 weeks now has passed. and its time to quieten down and ask "where am i going this semester". hints points to the drain. going through the motion of yet another semester in school has to come to a halt. the only lessons i prob enjoy are the ones on thomas hobbes. because it makes people think - hard. the first take home is about how people often mis-interpret his text and generalize that he holds such a dark view of human nature. how man without a authority over them would create the state of nature and fuel bloodlust. literally abusing his phrase 'the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.' yet altogether missing the crux of the message - his benevolent attitude towards these desires of humans. he probably sees man as children. their misbehavior can be pardoned due to their naivety. children who just need supervision. to digress, i was led to think recently how great it was to be a kid. how innocent and care-free the life was. the simplicity, and the easy contentment with life. yet now how as a grown-up we are thrown into this society with complexities, inequalities and the whole works of nasty things that are going on. so now i shall look to my 'eskimo friend', learning how to wake up each morning with the perception of leading a new life. and to be accurate, looking to Jesus who gives us His word that His love never fails and is new every morning. that is probably the only thing that i can cling on to when life goes down, down, down.

Why Our Studies Count for Little

2009-05-03T22:13:00.004+08:00

In the period of high stress, and of teeth-clenching and lip biting anxiety, it will be good to assure myself why studies will count for little.

Not that they are unimportant, neither should it be neglected and cast aside. But in "meritocratic" Singapore where grades literally determines everything, we need to begin to start to think otherwise, beyond the scope and years of socialization has taught us.

I want to believe that if my role is just to study and do my best. Yet, doing our "best" at times seem ambiguous. For me, doing my best means being conscientious in my assignments, being genuinely interested in the content, having a true spirit of education marked by a hunger to learn, doing about all i can to prepare for exams (not at the expense of health).

And at the macro level, these are the reasons why our studies count for little:

1/ We are living in the "end of the end times" as pastors would put it. Look at the Swine Flu (which actually is an erroneous terminology - the flu strain is far more complex than just being swine-related). The frequency of earthquakes that is ravaging cities and villages. The increasingly occurring freak weather; those we observed in singapore are just but the tip of the iceberg but it gives a good "introduction" of what impends.

2/ More importantly, i'm not determined or neither am i valued by my success/ failure. God's love remains the same.

Where is the faith?

Let Every Word Tell

2009-02-11T01:19:00.003+08:00

This blog is really getting boring. Eekks.

The key lesson i am learning in life is on how to MERGE! integrating areas of my life together so that i can remain focused! abstract? okay for example, using one notebook for EVERYTHING in life. so in my little muji there will be school notes, bb meeting minutes, sermon pointers, random scribbling yada yada. And today i started this new discipline. inspired shortly after buying this awesome set of 52 colored cards at page one called "crucial jazz licks" which has a except of a jazz standard on one side and a short write up about the artist and the musical interpretation. in order to make sure i use them, i use it as bookmark in my morning devotion. so the plan is: do devotion with oswald chamber's classic and then move on to practicing that utterly crucial jazz lick. and each bookmark will last for 2 days.

Once practiced with the piano, the other with the guitar. euuuurekaaa! okay lets see how long this lasts. it takes at least, according to sociologist, 2 weeks to form a habit.

So since i cant multi task i have to learn how to incorporate!

Then life doesnt seem so conflicting anymore! everything is one. one is everything.

Okay. now for the main bulk of the reason for blogging - to exercise Strunkian english methods.

Its high time to brush up on my english, in fear that my poor command of english would leave me at a severe disadvantage to the other "players".

In summary, the classic "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White can be summed up in the following abstract:

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

Let every word tell. No frills. Gathered that it would be worthwhile going thru this short but powerful book before getting down to writing my essay. So help me God.

It's Been Awhile

2008-12-25T17:03:00.005+08:00

Its been awhile

Sorry i kept you waiting...

-Britney Spears

How apt it is to revive the blog with a quote from britney.

Okay its not intentional. but when i tot of the words its been awhile i sync-ed it to the song i played for the introduction of my birthday party.

Sept 21 2008

The deep serene that lasted 3 months. and 4 days to be exact.

The date was marked sept 21 because it was the period of time work started to pile up in school. and while academic thoughts floated in my mind i had no motivation nor inspiration to type anything worth reading into this blog.

Results were released on my birthday 2 days ago. What can i say other than God is Good! heh heh. i dun say this with smugness on my face but humility in my heart. I really did try my best. and God did the rest for me.

For a science student and a person that does not write much or read much, i must say that its a mini miracle. Enough to give thanks for.

This is a correspondence brought to you from KL malaysia. Starbucks.

As we know, globalization has plagued every city and brought about a transculturation.

BEEP. cut the crap! hahaha enough of globalization. oh wait i cant get enough. im going to need that word for exams and essays next year. how could i forget.

Mom is perming her hair. Delphne is highlighting her hair. Dad is looking for shorts. I am warming my butt at starbucks, starting into their huge logo to seek inspiration. The woman in the centre might have some magical powers or something. Surely. I recall oh i recall just a few weeks before that i sat in at starbucks from morning till evening till night to STUDY. oh we love you.

As the year end draws near. Its time for a personal AAR. how the year has been. how have i changed. how have i grown in love and in faith.

But if i were to re-name the theme of the year i probably wouldn't have called it the year of the sabbath. But then again. Sabbath doesnt mean just stoning at starbucks and zoning out. Its about NOT DOING WHAT WE PLEASE.

okay and yes. i've been doing alot of things that i don't want this year.

Isaiah 58:13 (New International Version)

13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
       and from doing as you please on my holy day,
       if you call the Sabbath a delight
       and the LORD's holy day honorable,
       and if you honor it by not going your own way
       and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,

therefore, the measure of whether this year has been a sabbath is not only based upon the number of hours spent meditating beside the swimming pool in trunks but upon the number of ways we have honored God by NOT GOING OUR OWN WAYS boys and girls. heh heh.

hmm i din want to go for reservist this year becos i JUST ord-ed. does that count? hmm okay maybe not.

But there was something i truly wanted to do - a dream.

A 1 x solid power pack gig on my birthday

And though many times prior to that i felt like its not going to work out... It did.

I have no regrets now.

Bottoms up for a new year. Bird out!

The Deep Serene

2008-09-21T00:31:00.003+08:00

Over the seas

2008-09-06T11:34:00.004+08:00

A trip down the causeway. Episode 11 of 10000000

We'll never be bored of crossing the causeway. Its the whole experience of passing through the customs, filling up that embarkation card that creates the mini-holiday setting.

Truly Asia.

From the Malaysian checkpoint, it is only a 200m dash to paradise in city square.

Charmaine spotted the Uniquely Singapore booth in the shopping mall and i thought it would be great to take a photo so that i can use to work on my geographical imaginations project.

T.C. Chang would be so proud of me. dahaha.

ice-cream like no other.

By far, this has been the best trip! Having lunch at good ol' coffee shop, stocking up for face masks at skin food, followed by making a covert mission to Sasa to purchase some secret items and then the girls going for their hiao pok thing. i'll never forget how charmaine went "OH MY GOSH, ITS OPI!" what in the world is OPI. being so befuddled at the point in time, i ran off on my own to shop. our last stop was to watch Vin Diesel's Babylon A.D. which have not yet hit the cinemas in Singapore. solid.

great weather for taking photos.

taking a final pose for the day.

our favorite buy for the day!

Andrew Ng, if you are looking at this blog please focus your eyes on the amp. Wah rich ah this uncle. I can only dream of getting my own. And he sounded really good la!!

How unhealthy!

2008-09-04T22:51:00.002+08:00

How unhealthy?

Belly belly unhealthy.

Today's article in MIND YOUR BODY.

So now for all you friends of the "carry-a-spare-tire-round-your-waist" people. Here is some suggested ways we can fight the flab and flatten ours abs.

Lift weights (more muscle = more calorie burn)
Keep metabolism steady by eating small meals
Eat smaller dinners
Eat more fibre
Stay hydrated (our body sometimes mistaken thirst for hunger!)

Sounds quite feasible yeah!

Zoom Zoom eeeeeeeek

2008-08-28T22:50:00.006+08:00

In the window of time ever since i went silent, so much has taken place. The olympics has come and gone. Jonathan Tay gone to US to find korean girlfriends, and study voice at the same time. I have started to play for service again. Russia had almost beaten the daylight out of Georgia. Mike Guglielmucci has confessed to leading a double life and lying as a process about having cancer. And zoom zoom went the holidays.

now life has screeched to a halt for the "i am in school" feeling to set in. one twitch and it has been 3 weeks since school has begun. slowly the mystical and "surreal-ness" of being in NUS is fading. in the first week i thought to myself. "how in the world did i get into university?" due to me not being able to recall studying in JC.

I'm not proud of that, but i think its my last straw to redeem myself in the education path i have walked. dogged on getting my whole act together this time around, what i need is to adopt a steadfast "talk less, do more" attitude towards my studies. its week 3 and im doing good, trying to maintain my pace and conditioning myself to get into this studious mood - wonder if i know how it feels in the first place! in fact, my ipod has been overthrown by the lecture readings during my bus rides to school. its the most efficient way of scanning through the readings before lectures. As a result, my reading has speeded up and led to my writing skills becoming more POWERFUL right anot! heh heh.

Of all my modules, political science appeals to me the most. though it makes me want to shee shee in my pants but it excites me somehow. monday was a bad day for me. in the first political science tutorial, the tutor was getting us to choose the topics for our individual projects. When he gave the invitation, the whole class shot up their hands except me! wow since when in the evolution of a singaporean, did we adopt such culture? Further more, during the foreign policy and diplomacy lecture, the professor raised up some case-studies on Rwanda, Darfur, the Cold War and the European Union... it dawned upon me that i knew so little (besides having watched Hotel Rwanda) and i was walking into this level 2000 mod; naked and handicapped. Somehow or rather i have come to appreciate this course, causing me to be a tad less ignorant of the what is happening in the world.

oh God. show me what i should do!

TADA!!

2008-07-24T00:56:00.004+08:00

TADA! i have finally re-emerged from the clouds.

this post has been on the drafts for about a few weeks. haha. but its time to give thanks for the end of magicbox. truly a magical journey. a major part of the magicbox window there were a special bunch of people who made the show receive value-added status. or maybe it isn't so huh caroline??

it all began with a little conversation in ban teck han and little did we know that it would materialise. how magical did this group of fine boys and girls *(not in picture: Han Wen and Callista) come together from all walks of life to take part in our special one-time-only project SMILE class. it was great fun. and this is probably the smallest project class it could ever get.

on their mini experiment out into the public!

hidden in the fine prints of the contract was *to help out at magicbox packing day and pack magazines!*

all in all magicbox has been a super all rounded experience. from having 30 sec limelights giving out flowers at curtain call to wheeling magazines up and down from the foyer and merchandise stall. one think i treasure the time in gateway for is such experiences that money cant buy! like teaching magic to people in high security places shut out from society and going into subordinate courts to deliver tickets to the judge. and getting stopped by security in the process for my metal ruler and pen knife i bought that day in sheng shiong!

one of the highlights was to sit in the orchestra pit and watch the theatre play from down under!

looking good ah. i must confess i used the same trick at least 200 times throughout the show.

*OKAY BOY BOY. come come i show you a trick. pick a card.

look at it. show the whole world dun show me!

okay now put it in the deck. okay you believe your card turns blue??

yay. blue.

okay now anytime say stop. STOP!

......

time to gear up and get ready for mugging. im coming to get all you muggers out there!!! watch out.

Camp

2008-07-09T01:20:00.005+08:00

Raileys. thats what the bunch of us at the nus arts camp were coined for that 5 days. after much hesitation i reasoned that it would have been better joining and regretting rather than not joining and regretting. and i think it has not been a wrong move or a waste of time. getting to know people and places around the school so that when i go school i wont be so blur. i learnt thru army that i don't adjust well to big changes very fast so such preludes are important in my transition.

the name of our OG group. derived from the alcoholic drink baileys since we're from the Red house.

through the games we got very familiar with face paint. nasty.

lining up to play dirty dog and bone!

group picture marking the end of day one.

think on first day as usual i was very reserved and quiet. so other campers in the OG were thinking. oh whos this prim and proper guy look so guai and gentle. until... second day came. and things were starting to warm up for me that i started to be my crazy self. shucks look at my centre parting hair. how unglam. ha one of the photos we needed to take was a secondary school couple so cheers boy and girl. you're on candid camera!

day three - sentosa day. all 400 plus of us were creating havoc at the usually peaceful palawan beach. shamelessly shouting our backstreet boys cheers, singing shalalala with mambo actions just to gain points.

sheares supper was our every night affair. now i finally understand why their queue is so long.

our beloved enthusiastic house ic. last sunday we had our OG gathering and she popped by. during dinner she turned and said "hey charles, you look very familiar, i dunno where i've seen you before!" so we started listing out our schools. jc, no. secondary school also no. primary school. SAME! then we tried to recall our class. H! shucks. then we realised we were classmates! how small the world. had a good time reminiscing the old'ol days together. the funny thing is that we can name a few common friends in class and recall how their houses look like! ha.

day four unfolds. and it was a tiring afternoon under the hot sun again at the stadium playing war games. i wonder where we got the energy from. sleeping only 3 hrs the past 2 nights. but we did it anyway and it was the day we performed the best man.

day four evening. the clubbing night. doing away after 4 days of "RAIM SENG EH CHAR BOH SI BEI CHIO AH. YO DI SAR SI!" was a good break for us. with just one bath. everyone morphed into a glamourous state. BUT on closer look, the natural blusher and the V shaped neck line was very unflattering. thank you sun.

the music was bad and the place was small. and the bartenders wore singlets which looks fishy (gay bar!) but the company was great. we had good clean fun dancing to the lousy umbrella and touch my body and weird techno tunes.

the night we tired to ton. this was the end result. we spent the entire night talking and asking each other stupid questions like: "OKAY, if you have to kiss a girl in this OG who will you kiss?" hahaha. and then when the sun came out to say hello we went to sleep cos we got bored after listening to 1 hr of "what happened in your past relationship ah?"

the final group picture marking the end of arts camp 08! hoo-yah!

TEEEET!

2008-06-30T13:16:00.002+08:00

*TEET!

PLEASE READ ON BELOW FOR A VERY EXCITING PROMOTIONAL NEWS FRIENDS!!

For the very first time Project SMILE is conducting an exclusive class to recruit keen volunteers for the up and coming sensational MAGICBOX production at the esplanade.
You would be given a course in magic that would equip you with enough good yet simple tricks to wow audiences. Your role would be a close-up magician, going around the crowds to show them a trick or two. I assure you it will be good fun!
Visit www.magicoflawrence.com to find out more about MAGICBOX and Project SMILE.

If you are someone who is intrigued by magic and has always wanted to learn a trick or two, this is the perfect opportunity.
Moreover, the class conducted is totally free-of-charge.

and to top it off, we will be giving you a complimentary ticket to watch the MAGICBOX on either 15th or 17th of July. *on the basis that the conditions below are met

Dates:

9th July 08
1900-2200hrs

10th July 08
1400-1800hrs (Dinner included)

Venue would be confirmed at a later date.

Of course, there would be a few conditions that must be fulfilled to attend this class.
Help out with MAGICBOX bump in
As in all shows, there would be some pre-show logistics to be settled thus we need you to be there to lend a helping hand!
11th July
1000 - 1700hrs
Esplanade Theatre

Commit to at least 5 shows for MAGICBOX
There are a total of 10 shows that would be playing. *all shows would be in the evening unless stated

12th July13th July (Matinee)15th July16th July17th July18th July 19th July (Matinee)19th July20th July (Matinee)20th July

And out of these 10shows, you would choose 5 of which you can avail for.
If you are interested. Do revert to projectsmile@magicoflawrence.com or call Wei Lin @ 96570201
Hope to hear from you soon! And tell all your friends if they are free during this period of time!

SMILE!
Charles Tan
Project SMILE coordinator

PLAY ON part II

2008-06-30T12:44:00.003+08:00

another chapter of my journey in music has just closed. and simultaneously, another has opened.

it was about a month ago when prince edward contacted us to play for Power Jam. There were intially alot of hesitation as adding in rehearsals and practice sessions would mean an even more hectic schedule. creating a mayhem this few weeks.
as usual we formed a rojak band. comprising ed (bass) teck horng (vocals and rhythm) daniel nic tan (drums) dorothy (keys) and me on electric.

I think the very one thing that gave the final push to commit to competiting in this competition was the fact that taking part in such events are DEFINING moments of our musical life that no other could replace. And indeed, glancing back, each and everyone of us has grown closer and understood each other's musicalities to a greater extent.
I treasure the rehearsals because unlike church band practices, there was alot of constructive critic on each other's playing. and we all took it with a right spirit. we commented alot on how we felt we should interpret the lines, the structure of the song, the cresendoes and dimuendoes.

The first auditions we played an original that we composed in 1hr! and that got us into the semi finals. Out of 60 over bands that auditioned, we were one of the 16 that were shortlisted.
Moreover, we had many good comments from the audience asking us about the song and all.
So that was a morale booster for us.

There was one week to prepare for the semi finals and it was very tough for me, leaving NUS arts camp for two nights in a row to attend the rehearsal and then zoom back to join up with the campers. Saturday soon came.
Armed with a very funky jamiroquai tune and our same same but different original, we felt we had a good chance.
It seems history repeats itself. Bass amp was cracking, the keyboards overpowering. and the melody section was always ahead of the rhythm section cos dnt was using metronome which we only practised once with. We left the stage disappointed. Not that we din get into the finals but that we didnt show our full potential on stage.

Owell. Stuff happens! but its okay its alright! think all of us have gained a notch through this competition. PLAY ON!

I Love Cambodia!

2008-06-18T02:02:00.012+08:00

Its been more than a week since i returned from cambodia. have always wanted to do a proper reflection of the trip but there was no luxury of time. i realised when i reflect in haste or with too much noise from outside and within, it's all in vain. anyway "nothing good to say, don't say it!" =p

only in times like these 230am in the morning when singapore sleeps my brain starts to function.

so since i have something good to share i shall begin. the longest post ever!

when i heard that the coy was going up to cambodia for a community service trip i volunteered immediately. i simply love such trips and i know that the experienced gained and the bonds formed with the Boys and officers far outweighs the sacrifices that must be made. like ka chings and tick tocks.

in the end i wasnt disappointed. read along and find out why!

the woooarriors of 99th BB Coy. a small team of 17men and 2ladies. which was quite a good number. on hindsight, i could not have imagined a larger group.

this is mr r. an unsung hero that lives in the pouk village runing the Boys' Brigade Learning Centre and has super power ability to speak khmer, has immunity to insects, conditioned to high temperatures and most importantly a deep conviction to share Christ. through the short conversations with him i felt so inspired and moved. like how pastor john piper would say regarding his missionaries "I would gladly kiss their feet, anyday" i render i would gladly kiss his.

the weather was not a joke. this photo may seem like a plain sight of us playing frisbee with the cambodian youths but many of us were half way to pengsan-ing. hailing from the nation of singapore we have to show our spirit. fighting spirit. never say die. i was trying to be enthusiastic and all. but it led to burn arms and buckling knees at the end of the day. that was day one - only.

dinner and lunch are served at this house which is situated 300m from the school. so every major meal we would have to walk the distance to get our stomachs filled. food was unexpectedly good! all thanks to the wonderful chef aunty.

*there is a very deep connection with the wonderful chef aunty and how BBLC was formed but i think the story would take forever to write out. so i'll write another day.

i introduced myself as charlie to the cambodian youths. cos i think charles is quite hard to pronounce. its something to do with the tongue. was amusing to find out that there is a small motobike called chally that is popular there so they quickly remembered my name.

THE TOILET IS OVER THERE! haha. madm angela going all out to engage the youths.

what a wonderful butt. I MEAN. sky!

this was the part where we played the handcuffs game. basically tying up their hands with a rope like a handcuff where they have to figure out how to free themselves. all of them couldnt do it until sir amos and i demostrated it. so from there we taught them the song "God will make a way" it was heart warming to see them all singing that song at the end of the lesson. they may not grapse the full meaning, maybe not half but i pray that one day they would.

during our afternoon break where we had some time before and after lunch to siesta and cool off from the hot sun. sitting under a tree for some shade.

no its not the zoo. its a farm located in the village along the path to BBLC from the main road.

the Boys showcasing the uniform to our friends in cambodia.

HAHAHA. i just realised lance looks like mickey mouse in the picture.

one of our mission was to build a goal post for them using PVC pipes. was a great experience working with the cambodian boys. they make good soldiers! cos they dun act blur, take cover and always volunteer. they were all very helpful and most of it were done by them.

sir lance there conducting a lesson. yes He is able!

for most of the boys. this was their first time away from the bright lights in singapore. getting a chance to marvel at God's creation - the billions of stars. night time was the slot for devotion and every night the officers would take turns to anchor. this was narash's time with them. its through this trip that i found out there was such a star called the jewel box which flickers different color hues. and i if we werent disillusioned by the countless stars around, we spotted it.

on the fourth day. it was a cultural exchange day where we introduced singapore to them and sang them "singapura, oh singapura. sunny island set in the sea" but that was about all we could do. and also using the dollar notes to tell them about singapore and showing them how Mr. Yusof Ishak can smile and frown. the villagers brought us to their market in the morning. the market was like chatuchak style but slightly more laid back.

one of the cambodian boy offered a plastic bag full of fried crickets. i tried a few. and it tastes just like ikan bilis. not to bad after all. muahaha. conquer the fear of insects by eating them. everytime i saw a cricket after eating one, i imagined it in my mouth the next. ha yucks.

the afternoon they brought us around the Pouk village. this is the favorite picture i took this trip.

mr loy. the cutest boy over there. in BBLC they have a culture of addressing one another with the salutation of mister. so they would call one another. mr. charlie. mr narash. mr amos so on an so forth. which is a good way of expressing mutual respect to each other.

the girl in the centre is someone who made a strong impression on me, her life story and the many struggles she face as she strives for a better future. we were walking in the school and she invited us into her class. so she asked her teacher and we were in. sitting in a lesson with a translator behind me. it was a geography class discussing about weather. well. thats about all i caught from the lesson. after 5mins we decided not to impose on the teacher's lesson so we said thank you and left. somewhere down the road she appeared behind us. i thought she pon tang the lesson but it turned out that the teacher was the one who asked her to follow us since we were guest to the village. amazing. such hospitable spirit they possess.

this was our final class with them where we did a little magic show. i performed the trade mark rope trio using makeshift ropes bought from the market the day before. kengsan will be proud of me. hahahha. and we ended of by singing "graduation song" together. =(

as we go on. we remember all the times we shared together....

group photo before bidding farewell. most of the boys were about to tear as they said byebye to the cambodian youths. alot of them wrote love letters to us. as we read it, it tugs emotionally at us. imagine them taking the effort to write slowly in english.

madm angela praying for some of the cambodian youths before leaving.

sir narash and amos praying for mr. r. who would be staying there for a few more years. he has already been there for 3 years.

off for R and R.

posing for a picture before our first nice lunch.

another calculator watch boy. ahhaa.

angkor wat was definitely the highlight of the r & r. although its a whopping US$20 bucks to enter the site but its a must-go! i found out its not one of the wonders of the world. it was nominated but it din make the final seven. however it was still a jaw dropping experience and with a giant question shouting in our minds. "HOW IN THE WORLD DID THEY DO IT!!!!" a pity the site does not have much signs to read about the history and the significance of the cravings in the walls. that was our mistake not to engage a tour guide. so the 13 of us were walking around with a question mark hanging over our heads. like those in a sim city computer game. we tried tagging along other tour groups. pretending that we din know how to speak chinese. the tour guides are amazing. they have tour guides for every different language. english. chinese. japanese and korean!

the Boys enjoying the walk although they dunno whats going on. just walk. haha.

if angkor wat could make a nonchalant and boh chap person like my brother to appreciate it, i think i would. ha. sadly, they closed the stairs up to the highest point in the temple due to the some restoration works going on.

sitting at the edge of a big 'swimming pool' which reminds me of the roman baths.

we took individual shots of the Boys with the picture perfect half lake half angkor wat frame. okay Boys, $10 dollars for one picture. cheap cheap.

there was a scissors paper stone competition held in the room previously. of which mr brendon won. thus winning the king sized bed!

i'm looking forward to the trip next year already.

Video for Angus

2008-05-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

finally. ty cannot conceal the awesome talents of the next boyband big thing.

featuring.

the F 4s new. and revamped.

anw. we recorded this song for you angus! dun forget our lubch for you..

the FAGGOT 4.

watch out.

anw. just to clarify. jon was checking lyrics on his handphone and not replying smses. haha.

2/3

2008-05-22T13:02:00.004+08:00

its been a long time since anything constuctive has been in my mind.
so since there some free time is office i can just write something about the retreat. better practice Alt + Tab in case like pastor khong walks past. the other day i was on facebook, trying to read my inbox *ahem. and he came behind my chair and started talking while the screen loudly proclaimed the wonder of facebook. wow he really does know magic huh.

ha its a joy working @ gateway. not only do i get to watch free magic shows going on through the glass windows behind me, get free lunches very often and get to meet legendary people like johnny thomson and joanie spina.

anw over the weekend, 2/3 holidays have been completed. whats left is the cambodia trip with Boys' Brigade from the 3rd to 8th of June.
okay so the retreat was a blast! the schedule was quite eng. giving me ample opportunity to soak in the bath tub for extended periods. i bathed like 4 times everyday. before breakfast. after lunch. before dinner and before sleeping. hahaha. shiok.
and the word given by the various pastors were sharp and timely.

helping to fold frogs.

Keng san really Peng san.

immediately after coming back from the retreat it is time for the Service-Learning project to finally come to pass. we headed down to SPCA @ Mount Vernon Road for a visit.

my group has always been known to be the quietest and hardest to engage group. but i thank God that they were all very engaged throughout the time there. all ready and excited to earn big bucks in school on friday where they will set up a booth to sell SPCA merchandise.

eugene with his favorite dog. * dont you think their uniform is very nice? the spca receptionist agreed. its like vintage stuff man. contrary to their tablecloth mentality.

little tiger taking a nice nap. i decided my next pet will be a cat. i finally now understand why my jc teacher never liked dogs.

toast to friday sales. big money big money!

OEI KUA CHA BOR AH!?

2008-05-08T01:19:00.004+08:00

i think blogging is really a phenomenon.

but i guess its alarming if you know people are reading what you write.
so whatever appears on this space... hmm.
anw hi mom, hi dad! ahhaha. i know you are reading.

anw.

blogging is a good outlet for the stuff that is on my mind. i was just entertaining some thoughts. my grandpa was a chinaman. i din get a chance to see him. but from what i gather, he was a real chinaman.
and has the qualities of a chinaman. quiet. reserved. hardworking. not speaking much in the house. so. i realised. i am just 1 generation away from a man from china. so technically. im rather much have chinaman culture. but in singapore, it is AMAZING! because within a generation of education. we have changed from a chinaman mentality to one that is highly 'westernised' and educated so to speak.

but if we look around, i think our culture is very much still chinese!
reserved. more introverted. so thats why blogging gets those thoughts swimming in my mind out.

okay. if i am not making sense then owell! haha.

anw. recently ive discovered more about men. how God created man. and specifically...
on how GUYS LOVE PRETTY GIRLS!!!
okay i know that sounds wrong. let me explain.

so to illustrate my point i have to find a pretty lady. and daniel lee's fav is a good choice to use.
look at the above picture. guys okay million dollar question.

if the above shown AUDREY HEPBURN walks past you... thats impossible! she has passed on. but IF. she does...

how many times would you look?

i touch my heart. i think i would look thrice. once (not my fault), two (oh man is it really...?) and three (OMG!!!!!!!!! for 5mins)

okay over exaggeration there. but i think what im trying to say is that its a very natural reaction to be attracted to beauty. and beauty is really a phenomenon. what makes a person pretty/handsome? complexion, face shape, eyes, figure, the divine pi ratio?

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

v. fleet·ed, fleet·ing, fleets v. intr.
To move or pass swiftly.
To fade out; vanish.

due to my angmo s not very the goods, i finally understood what it means by beauty is fleeting. it'll fade out. theres no more audrey hepburn. and any pretty person would be very much un attractive once the 40s comes? once the wrinkles appear?

try this; everytime you spot a very beautiful lady or a 'HOT' girl. on your second look you turn and look at the eyes of the other guys around. you'll be in for a SUPER fun treat. you'll notice that their eyes will be focusing on ahem. dun believe try. and when i tried that i was thinking, shucks thats how i appear when i did that??? oh man. pastor jo says the eyes is the window to the soul. so if there is no eye discipline and cant help but look then i think it leads to sin.

HAHAHHA. which leads me to something that happened today. i was in pastor ______ car and we were about to turn into a carpark in shenton way. then he spotted someone whom he knew who was sitting across in some cafe alone. just nice as pastor _____ wanted to say hi, a pretty and attractive lady walked past him. and pastor _____ caught him checking her out!!! hahahaha. so guess what he did? he winded down the window and shouted!

"OEI! ______ LE KUA CHA BOR AH!!! "

i looked at the guy's stunned face and couldn't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHA. HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GOING TO SHEEE SHEEEE IN HIS PANTS!!!imagine you kena caught by your pastor checking some hot girl out. shiokers.

so guys. watch out! where your eyes are rolling. and someone is watching you. you'll never know. "OEI!" hahahha. so remember. beauty is fleeting. charm is deceptive. dun be stumbled. =p

ConFuocoVI

2008-05-06T00:08:00.003+08:00

con fuoco VI.
its been 3 con fuocos already since i left cjc. its nice to see how the band has grown over the past few years. i wish i can play for alumni each year. more than the music and the people, its the memory that draws me back.

the alumni powerful lower brass section. shh dun tell people we slept during sectionals.

Master Tuner

2008-05-01T00:38:00.003+08:00

finally got down to tuning the piano
its amazing how every piano is unique. unfortunately mine is uniquely metallic sounding. after some research. the metallic sound is due to the hardening of the hammer heads over time.
so in attempt to make it more mellow i tried to ask the old man.

he said: "ai yoh, er this the piano is the very not the goods"
"buy german priano!"
"or the engrand one"
he speaks with super strong chinaman accent.

ha i wished my piano was borned in germany and not korea. haha

the old man has such a solid pitch in his head he didn't need a tuner to tune up to A=440hz. solid.

BOTC Johor

2008-04-27T20:08:00.010+08:00

Boy's Brigade BOTC - Johor, Malaysia.

Saturday 0800. No move time.
In the van. The rest of the campers were on the bus.

Our welcome lunch. very welcoming indeed. hahaha. the most jia lat food throughout the entire 2days man.

When we got to the campsite. we were shocked to see like hoardes of malay school children. apparently we clashed with their school holidays. in my mind i was picturing a tranquil, picturesque and peaceful getaway. to my dismay, it was on the contrary. the malay kids were jumping into the pond, doing crazy stunts with the obstacles... it was a problem man. overcrowding. so we have to do something about it! heh heh. actually a good problem it was.

In BB we learn RAMS. Risk Analysis and Management System. So in this case, what are the risks involved? ha. before i went on the trainer asked me "eh you sure ah?" so i did my own risk analysis and decided to do the monkey bar. but i told her that if it hurts i'll let go and drop into the water. thank God i did it with no problems at all. =p

the "river" walk

i would have brought home this very cute little cat. meow.

so the first few hours were spent clearing the obstacles in the campsite and a small raft-building exercise. the time came for our outdoor cooking session.

our group was so blessed to have a supermom among us. with like __ years of experience in cooking. she deciphered the would-have-been unbreakable code of recipes and whipped up a sumptous meal of mee goreng, egg omelete, black sauce chicken with potato and stir-fried vegetables. it was so MUCH better than lunch. and its my first outdoor cooking session without eating maggi mee.

there was a problem at the campsite due to the large volume of people around. so in order for both parties to be comfortable. someone HAD to move out. so we did. but to a resort!! haha. upgrade man! the bus came and drove us to Kukup. the little seaside village. wah ended up we had like mahjong. karaoke.... wah "adventurous" ah!!! shiong. after having a warm nice shower, we were served supper. of porridge and nasi lemak. wah alamak. the whole day's workout became futile. because the food was just too good that we all succumbed to second helpings.

wah truly. it was a extremely harsh and tough camp. i had to fight the air con! it was so cold i woke up halfway realising that i kicked my blanket out of the bed. shiok. so poor thing ah. hahaha ya right.

the village at dawn.

breakfast at aminah's. haha solid stuff.

oh and i spotted this VERY familiar restaurant. i remember it for the colored fences. mom confirmed it that we were there like 10years ago. eating at this restaurant. and tan ah pui ate until he couldn't walk. ahahha. i think i remember cos delphne and i were playing catching near those fences..

so the hike begins. saturday's workout cancels out with the supper. but we needed some other activity to cancel out sunday's breakfast! haha.

one of the three teams. waiting for our turn to start our hike. comprising the group are many interesting people. like the guy who cant seem to stop talking, like literally cant stop talking. i've never seen a more talkative guy ever. and the guy who hiked in fireman boots! haha. the guy who has to take zhi lian pictures and videos of himself doing obstacles or climbing the hill. an ex national bodybuilder whose life was totally changed around from pai kia to guai kia. a 46 year old man who is disguised as a 30 year old man. haha. a supermom who hiked in the front until the back guys had to shout "SLOW SLOW!!" and quoting her "IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU". there was no more such re-occurence of "SLOW SLOW!!" ever after that. man pride ah! in the other group, this old man who was an ex navy officer couldn't help but treat his other group members like his men and singing army songs to himself.. hahahha. heng he not in the same group as me if not wah kena pump and all... =p

japanese bunker. one of the many in johor. in 199_ something, a japanese soldier came out in his uniform from one of these bunkers and asked what year was it... it was reported in the news i think. amazing how that fella survived.

spilled blood. my blood. see that little thing behind the blood. wad a sucker of a leech.

the finale activity. enjoy the waterfall!

on the way back on the van. the driver stopped by the petrol kiosk to refuel. so we happily unloaded and patronised the shop. after crossing the highway and turning into singapore immigration the van pok pok pok pok - ed to a stop. the engine ceased. turned out that the driver PUMPED THE WRONG KIND OF FUEL. i think he pumped petrol instead of diesel. shiok. but thank God it died only when we reached. if not 9 of us would have continued the hike II across the causeway!

it was a nice time getting to know some of the other officers from other churches. and hearing their life story and testimonies. on how they came to know Christ and how God blessed them in their marriage. and on why they joined the BB. i've been in band all my life! and its quite surprising to people that i am in BB. after hearing them out it made me feel further assured that this is a cause worthed sacrificing and working for. that the BB object may be fufilled in the lives of many young Boys to come.

Ahhhhhhh ka Pella

2008-04-25T11:58:00.005+08:00

its been a week since going for budak pantai's concert. they were really great in their entertaining factor. i mean why would a hundred and more flood the top of a roof. and before that queue up in a staircase risking heat stroke. but for the wonderful scenery of the singapore night skyline and not forgetting the sewage pipe ending (the two white pipes in beside the boh tak boy), its worthed it!
from budak i've seen how you can do a very enjoyable concert. i believe this is the joy of being amateurs. having some tolerance for being abit pitchy here and there. some bloopers. and laugh it off. rather than being such a high sense of professionalism and losing the joy in music.

so the next time we do a gig i think we will try something different. heh heh.

speaking of acapellas. ah pui tan showed me some super hilarious ones!

For the black bird...

HAHAHA. NC16 ah the above one!

*RESTRICTED*

Round Food For Every Mood

2008-04-21T23:37:00.004+08:00

I learnt much from teaching primary school kids.

Tom reads 1/4 of a book on monday and 1/3 of it on tuesday.

If the book has 84 pages, how many pages has Tom left to read?

answer A: 1/4 + 1/3 = 7/12

left to read = 5/12

5/12 x 84 = 35.

answer B: pages left on day one = 3/4 x 84 = 63

pages left on day two = 2/3 x 63 = 42.

only answer A was in the multiple choice. but i thought answer B is a more logical answer! oh man unless my math is that bad!!

the 1/3 should be of the unread portion of the book wad. please shoot me if im wrong. haha.

in embarrassing moments as such. ask for the class response and act zai.

if not the kids will lose confidence in the teacher. terrible terrible

lesson in humility:

was sharing with the class that i finished my NS term.

"Mr. Tan, what rank ah you in army?" asked Boy X

"Oh corporal loh" replied Mr. Tan

"AI YOH!!! CORPORAL NIA. TWO STRIPE ONLY. " exclaimed Boy X

"YA LOR, CANNOT COMMAND OTHERS ONE" shouted Boy Y

its okay. im secure. to confirm my security i shall send the two boys for detention with me tomorrow. NAH. hahaha. kids say the darnest things.

hoorah for EARTH DAY.

in conjunction with earth day i shall wear green. and i shall don a paper bag mask and teach about the 3 Rs. goood plan. and also COMPRAIN about dippin donuts.

although their donuts quite the shiokers. but the plastic bag they use to hold the box is WAY WAY too big. can fit a pig inside. terrible.

look at the chef charlie. and his long nose hair and the ORH KIM with one long curly strand of hair.

the norm storms

2008-04-16T23:10:00.008+08:00

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. -Paul

I think turning 21 i ought to have some depth though it may not be in the great deep but showing symptoms of being an adult.
By far life has taught me that sometimes we go through storms. trials. hard times. and many times we lose our direction and see no to end to the tunnel. One of my heroes, Paul, wrote a book and in it i find a verse that anchors me in times as such.
But how often i allow skepticism and doubt to seep into my mind. And allow the storms of life to water down the "ALL" word to maybe "some"
morphing the truth to "and we know that God causes SOMEthings..." man, many of these storms can be REAL, if remotely you havent experienced it yourself.

But another thing i realised is that humans are short sighted. especially when we are facing a STORM. i think singapore is blessed enough to be protected from the other not-so-friendly acts of God in other locations all over the world. but if our geography textbooks are reliable, it should tell us that in a storm visibility is way too low to see past it.
And that occurrence in the natural works similarly in the spiritual. Its in those storms we feel all alone and emo. however, it is paradoxical that it is in times like these that we hang on to God. if we all look back in time. some have to look quite a distance back. but for me. just a few years.. we would probably remember the tough times more than the good times. because its in bad times that we emerge stronger. though in it we cant see far.
pastor benny made a statement: "Show me 1 person that does well in the Lord through good times and i will show you TEN people who does well in the Lord through tough times"

months ago, after the ORD joy faded. i slipped into a mini storm. screeching to a halt at the crossroads after a very "directed" path in NS. so at the crossroads i was thinking argh how should i spend my time and all. i thought of working at macdonalds. i thought of taking up a 6 dollar per hour job and waste life away in front of a computer. and i also thought of driving a taxi.
but i really thank God for the space in gateway entertainment in this very very exciting phase that Proj Smile and the upcoming MagicBox is entering. and its such that i can find time to do some relief teaching. squeeze some $$ from uncle moe. and the best part - the school and gateway office is just 400m walk away. need to work hard to bring in the money cos i realised that every month im going overseas before i start school in august. not forgetting joining The Boys Brigade. been a very good adventure that im taking as a step of faith though it calls for some sacrifice. will be brogging about it soon.

as i was in a pri 6 class, on the topic of STORMS, i reminised that fateful day i took my PSLE results. and cried all the way home. although home was just 100m away. that was the first real storm that i experienced. well, if i dun consider the time i couldnt buy my toy car or something.
maths was my forte.... the result slip showed B. boohoo.
BUT. in the end in kcpss was the perfect place for me where i was given ample opportunities that i prob couldnt have any other place.

chop the long story short.

if you are in a storm now. wadever it may be. and maybe your glasses are all fogged up and you are looking bad, feeling crap. give a smile. and know that all things work TOGETHER for good.

nothing is further from da truth ya'll. heh.

best teacher chronicles

2008-04-14T22:27:00.008+08:00

it reads. "my best teacher is u because you let us play game and show us trick. thank you"

oh man!!! check out the power hairdo la. solid pom pi pi. best teacher indeed. i found out some of the kids told their teachers to ask mr tan to relief their class so that he can show magic trick. jia lat. i think im going to get expelled. haha. like today i had to relief the same class for like the whole day. so i told them: "ok boys and girls listen up. you will all take out your science worksheet and do. and if you all finish mr tan will show you magic!"

"yay"

so okay they did their work. and now i had to fulfill my promise. so as i was performing my "VANISHING SILK" trick. wah the kids was going crazy. how i appeared that blue silk and disappear it and all. wah.

then i turn and looked at the door. the principal was standing there. wow. great. hahaha.

maybe i have to see the principal soon too.

i learnt one thing from kids. when you make a promise you super better fulfill it. if not they'll label you a LIAR!!! like when i took PE i wagered them to something and i lost. so i had to do 20 CHICKEN BACKSIDE* for them. but when i wanted to do, the bell rang and the other teachers were gathering around. so it was HIGHLY inappropriate for mr tan bird bird to do 20 CHICKEN BACKSIDE with the entire class laughing till kingdom come.

*chicken backside: squat position. hands hold ankle. and then raise butt up and down. shout 1.

i remember the time in army we kena one times jia lat jia lat. 100 plus plus. after the tekan session we literally crawled up to our bunks.

anw. so they say "Mr Tan, you liar!!!"

ouch.

life is unpredictable in teaching.

one morning i was awakened by the 65 dollar call. so while half asleep i rushed off to school. and stepped into the class.

the neighboring classes were streaming towards the hall. so i asked one of the boys: "eh now go to the hall isit?"

he replys: "wait teacher wait i run in front go check"

*he runs back and says "YA everyone must go hall now!!!!"

when the class got to the hall it didnt take long before i smelled something fishy. nothing was happening. the rest of the classes were having PE. SHIOK! the truth set in. i just got PUNK'd.

no wonder the other teachers were staring at my class thinking why on earth i brought them there. the *congratulations and jubilations song was airing in my head*

wah my blood was boiling. what audacity that little primary school boy had. trick his teacher. so i dragged him out of class and in the direction of the principal's office. i think he want to cry already. but stopped just before reaching. gave him a piece of my mind that should make him remember for a long long time. argh.

some time ago i decided that a tortoise shell spectacles would be cool! so i began the hunt. every shop that i think was "old" i went in and ask. hello you mei you ah pek specs? vintage one. hahaha. most of them will stare blankly at me.

so one day i decided to finally go repair andrew's guitar... while waiting. i walked into this shop called "one china" situated in the corner of peninsular plaza. and asked the same question.

he started to pull out very old boxes and check. and then he said... eh i think i have one!

THERE IT IS!!! tortoise shell ooooush... its like alain delon. branded one man. although they make underwear also. haha. and its like as old as me! and it the bridge is special cos it looks like a key hole. hehe.

when i got home. and show mom with so much excitement.

"ah yo why you buy this one! look like the one i throw away"

*pulls out a photo*

oh man!!! hahha. she was funky and cool way back 20years ago. and its really almost identical shaped. nicer shade though. =p argh why you throw away. =(

like mom like son. well i dun think im going to wear it out on normal days its going to be the music specs.

in ubin, do what the UBINans do!

2008-04-10T00:28:00.011+08:00

In July last year i took an off day and spent it for a OOOOhhhBin day.
Last tuesday. it was another trip to THE ISLAND

After 1 x changi village kao luck nasi lemak. the day has been set!
bum bum all the way to ubin island.
turn left to bicycle shops. There were similar signs proclaiming:

IS IT REAL??

$2

I went to ask the bike shop ah ma. She says "boy, one day unlimiteds rides. six dollas"
*scratch head.
"that means not real la aunty. buay steady la!"

kena corn. but its okay. the shop next door seven dollas. even more the expensives although the suspender very the powerfuls. can fly down slope no feel a things.
haha. ended up our getaway vehicles were cranky and pok pok. but anyhow, we took it to conquer the uphills and risked the downhills.
everytime i go a downhill i think of that poor radio dj guy who fell down the slope on his bike and ended up in a really bad shape. learning from others. dun be gang ho.

we decided to be counter culture and say hello to EVERYONE we see. the ang mos that we met received it well. the locals went "hello hi, good morning (you are nuts)"
couldnt care less. in ubin you do what the UBINans do. be a clown!

Luke having a go at his stunt bike.

The ooohh la la team. the organiser of this trip is missing though. haha. dun be sad johnny. next time we are going to pulau sentosa you go. dun be tempted by $65 dollars.

a walk along the BROADWAY (hehehehe wonder who said that ah. ah mei)

we spent the bulk of our time taking jumping photos like the one above. HAHA. there were two workers working at the building behind us. i think they must be laughing their heads off looking at us.

Tarzan!!!! scaled the tree with no sweat

Jane. nah. actually i was trying to take a KOALA BEAR shot. chey. haha

the few hours spent there was surreal. away from the buzz of the mainland.
all singaporeans suffer from the same condition. the BUSY-LIKE-CRAZY intoxication.
so once in awhile we must all pack our bags leave our homes and get away for awhile. to detoxify our minds and body. and from the emails war. and your phone shall be diverted "beep. i am currently taking a break from you buggers. prease call back in a few days. beep beep"

prease prease. take a break!

ban the ray bans!

2008-04-05T23:53:00.008+08:00

This is my favorite cat in my neighborhood. i like the sound of her meow. and when she sits in such a nice posture.

today ty and i and one of his adm friend went for a hunt to be arty! and ty has officially been transformed out of his GEE NA! (kiddo) look to one of the arty farty aura. hoorah.
hahaha. your previous specs was really buang dey. your face too wide! hahaha =p eh remember our plans ah. 18dec? hehe.

they may look cheap. they may look aunty. they may look old fashioned.
BUT MIND YOU. "dris spractacles is from the italiam the brands one hor" (aunty in shop)
they cost like 300 bucks each. and prob last a lifetime!

on our way to haji we couldnt bear the heat. so we had to have ice scream.

eh daniel why did you leave your shorts on the rack in haji lane?

SELAMAT HAJI LANE

no time cos its showtime

2008-04-01T00:48:00.002+08:00

Suspender Day!check out the matching pipes! to find out more please call 1800-machoman

check out the spastic look of the suspender boys.

i was doing the twice a week run in the park today. one round around bishan park I. while running i ran past this guy who looked oddly familiar. like someone from my primary school class but he din look at me so i carried on running. then i ran past this dark part of the park and in the distance i could see two silhouette figures. figure no. 1 Own Time Own Target carry on.
in the dark. two silhouette figures, a guy and a girl, sitting on a bench in the dark, what do you they are doing? playing scrabble? well well. so at that moment i became CAMY-fied. shouted a loud HOO-AHHH!!! while i ran past. their shocked faces was priceless man. i'll do it again gladly.
hahahha

if only the world could stop functioning for 1 week! no electricity or something. ALL business close down. Go back to ice age era. no cars on the roads. everyone just at home with their families eating. im dreaming out loud.

anyway its showtime tmr! go magic go.

The Lost Generation

2008-03-28T23:23:00.005+08:00

today i taught relief @ __ ____ school. cannot mention the name because blogging is a very sensitive issue nowadays. you never know who reads them. and just want to get you trapped by whatever is on the blog. i witnessed a friend getting charged for blogging about sensitive issues during my term in NS thus my new perspective about blogging. aint no freedom eh.

i was sharing with dad in the car about my experience teaching in a secondary school. and was lamenting over the fact that the new generation seems very disengaged and indifferent. i looked at some of them and wonder if i was just like them 10 years ago. i concluded almost negatively. i wondered also if it was the school or its just the general attitude in schools today. probably both.

i noticed many of them tucking out their shirts so i shared with them the consequence of doing that during my school days. the discipline teacher will take a pair of scissors and snip the shirt into half and parade you in the concourse for the day.

i wish some teacher would have the guts now to do that. and risk his rusty iron bowl so that the kids will have discipline. risk also the bombardment of emails and letters from the dear parents of those sayang precious child of theirs!

so after going through the education system. i sat in the staff room thinking about what the system has moulded me into. and whether it was effective.

and in the next moment i find myself walking into the classroom and experiencing reality.

i think problem with teachers are that many are too much of an idealist?

classroom neat and tidy. boys polite and gentlemanly, girls demure and adorable. quiet throughout lessons with eyes pinned to yours. hands flying during Q & A question time.

laughs and giggles fills the air at the perfect moments. homework all handed in on time. conscientious. hardworking. humble.

oh man give me a break! step into any classroom and you will find the giant abnormaly. however saying all of that, its not that it is not good to aim for a class like that or start working towards one. but honestly with our hands on our hearts, it is not going to happen overnight. or maybe even over a few years. and even so, every class is dynamic and it would take a teacher with great pragmatism and wisdom to see the students truly being educated.

i always felt the WORST students deserves the BEST teachers. sometimes i meet those very rowdy and ill-disciplined kids and i would really love to sit down, look them in the eye and say "Its not your fault, kid"

i hope we see the trend. that society is falling apart because families do not give the environment for positive growth of a child. maybe their parents are filing for a divorce. or could have already been divorced. maybe their parents fight everyday. won't be a surprised if many of them are victims of child abuse of some kind. be it verbal, physical and hopefully not, sexual.

I came across this wonderfully written article in the straits times today entitled:

Lament of the median student

by Chua Mui Hoong

Although it is not very relevant to the aforementioned, i thought it shed light about education in singapore big question mark in my mind.

To paraphrase the article. She was lamenting over the stressful singaporean education system and was wondering how the median child (smart, well-adjusted, outgoing but not so gifted academically) struggle in school. i think alot of kids fall into that category.

i quote.

"Now that I'm older and a tad less arrogant, I wonder if there is a place for kinder, gentler mode of assesment that does not destrop the average child's self-esteem"

"It is left mainly to parents and family to do our bit to emphasise this third aspect of tests, when we praise and encourage children for making improvements that no examiner gives credit for - for passing after failing, for scoring 60 after a string of 50s.

While i feel sorry for the median student, I'm also realistic enough to know that Singapore is not going to be any less competitive.

So average students just have to buckle down and do their best, and parents (and aunties) just have to do their best to help them keep down"

the piano man

2008-03-25T22:06:00.004+08:00

every tuesday night is enjoyable. because of piano lessons. its great to have a hotel jazz pianist in my house once a week. haha. and he loves to tell stories! that day i was joking with hui suan that we pay $$ to engage a story-teller who just happens to be good at piano! haha.
we manage to catch him at raffles hotel on sunday night. it was such a posh experience that we dont want to go back. firstly. dannyboy was very well dressed. haha. heng i told you to change to shoes!!!; at least. secondly charlieboy took the menu from the waiter when he was trying to serve the ladies first. (very bad mistake.) and lastly, we didnt want to get any drinks because coffee costs 9 bucks and beer 20 bucks. madness!!! but the waiter was SOOOO nice, he got us ice water and a bowl of cashew nuts. for free. at first we were saying maybe he pour out the water from EVIAN bottles. 10 dollars per cup. Wah peng san man.
haha and when we were trying to leave the piano teacher finished his set and came over. so he started telling his stories for 45mins!! hahaha.
today his story is about quincy jones. how he became zero to hero in the music world!
and something i will start to learn is stride piano. its like this left hand thing. after playing church music for many years, the left hand is bored. real bored. need to do some work to get it moving.

today at staff meeting i took this photo! hahaha. buay pai seh.

pastor khong shared that Dr. Maurice Sklar served together with pastor benny hinn's healing ministry for many years! he made a comment about silence to the musicians. he said that many times when the presence of God is felt the strongest, it is in silence.
think church music nowadays are too noisy. i think its about letting the spirit lead. and not just sticking to the band chart or song sequence. verse. chorus. instrumental. cheng cheng bombom all the way. im sure a new dawn of worship in FCBC is coming soon.
i like his humility. and when he kneels with his little violin on his lap and bow in hand. at that moment i had a dream.

one day i will be the BEST UKELELE player!! and i will play at the big evangelistic meetings and give my best worship with the ukelele. it actually sounds quite nice man. and its very portable. i think im going to get one soon! haha.

CheeKohBoom

2008-03-24T00:49:00.004+08:00

While walking to the car parked at s__b___ avenue. Daniel heard a loud thud. Turned to me and said, oh man the lorry hit the traffic light. i tot he was laming. but when we looked at the scene. both of us stared in disbelief.

Charles Tan from Kapo Times reports...

upon interviewing the driver. what happened was that he was making a right turn, and his brake fail. so going at a rather high speed for a turn, he almost flipped the vehicle. thank God he knocked the traffic light. seriously. the lorry was OVERLOADED with bangladesh and chinese workers and if they overturned, the casualty rate would have been scary.

only one of them was injured. at that point of time when daniel and i reached, we were the only locals over there. so we tried to see if we could help in any way. i think our biggest contribution was to tell them not to touch his leg. they were trying to move his leg. oh anyway this guy was sitting in the passenger seat and the impact of the crash crushed the side of the lorry and his leg was stucked at first but they yanked him out. together with a bit of his heel! it was bloody. a huge part of his heel was dangling. and the funny part was that the china man and the bangladesh workers were quarreling and they almost fought! mostly due to the fact that they both don't understand each other's language.

the poor indian man. he was so much in pain. reminds me of the time i dislocated my arm. i was whimpering all the way to the medical centre cos the pain was too much to bear.
i left the scene sympathizing with the kind of life they lead. they are fellow homo sapiens but they are treated like disposables. a very sad predicament. while all they want is just to earn a decent living to feed their families back in their homeland. but many of them are treated badly by the local employers. no rights. no benefits. my heart goes out to them.

The Glorious Picnic

2008-03-23T01:09:00.005+08:00

3 Nights of Sanctification Week is officially over. The life of a sanctified man has officially begun.

It was a glorious picnic in expo max pavilion the past 3 nights. and i thank God for each and everyone of them. its so comfortable to be sitting on the floor and its a very peculiar sight to see all the assorted mats/sleeping bags/ponchos being laid all over the floor. as if it is a giant cell group meeting. and pastor khong is the cell leader. just having a good time in God's presence doing divine business. settling the outstanding issues in our hearts. a privilege fcbc has, to have with us Dr. Maurice Sklar. who uses his talents in the violin to minister to the church. want to know how he looks like? okay now picture fender ben in your head.
first put on a suit on him. and then give him a goaty. pin up the jewish thing on the head. and finally take away his fenders and give him a violin. VIOLA! there. stradivari ben oh.
the way he accompany the band also sama sama. relentless. no give chance. solid stuff =p haha.
has been a great blessing. on the first evening. i got the chance to shake his hands. at the same time suck some music annointing from him.

"O God, you are my God. Earnestly i seek you. My soul thirsts for you. My heart longs for you. In a dry and weary land, where there is no water."
ive been trying to commit to memory that whole psalm. and while doing that i think it sets the atmosphere and spirit of these 3 nights.

first night: success or the presence of God? it ties in well with pastor john piper's sermon about the radical effects of the resurrection. indeed, if success in life is all we seek, if comfort is all we want, if the desires of the world and our perception of life is one that the world strifes for then there are other faiths that can offer that. christianity is not just comfort seeking religion; God did not designed it that way, although God wants to bless us. but it is truly a relationship of the Almighty with the mere mortals and about living in the plan that He has marked out for each of us. It is altogether possible to be successful in life without the presence of God. (story in exodus). because God is faithful He will bless, but when we search deep within... that God-shaped void is still vacant and in desperate need of the savior's love.

night two (good friday): remembering the path that Jesus took on the cross for us. how he endured the scorn and suffered under the hands of those he love and created.
it can be sum up like this:

King of my life, I crown Thee now,
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary.

May I be willing, Lord, to bear
Daily my cross for Thee;
Even Thy cup of grief to share,
Thou hast borne all for me.

Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony;
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

I teach relief whenever i can. and so far in the primary schools it has been fun as much as funny. which is very weird because i have crowdophobia. the fear of crowds. and primary schools are a daily mayhem. but maybe its because i am tall. well at least taller than them. so they LOOK UP to me. no choice. oh to de rail a little, while at school the other day i was just observing the kids in the school during their recess. and it is really mind blowing crazily noisy and rowdy. frisbies over my head, boys running around not knowing that they look unglam and silly to the girls but oh well cant care less. the girls screaming. laughing at God knows what, probably nothing at all. man. i was thinking if scientists could find a way to harvest this energy in all the primary schools around singapore, we could power the entire island! maybe get them to somehow spend all their energy on this giant turbine thing. like those hamster one. and tell them its a game. see who can spin faster.
wishful thinking.
anw. the point i wanted to make is that...
i was in class and when asking for homework or when collecting something, they will say FORGET!!!! rings the bell? it seems that even from young, everyone forgets!! its a human trait that will last the entire lifetime. while we can do and create mental processes to help us remember. we will still fail sometimes.
"To Err is human"; yes as well as "To Forget is Man"
forget forget forget. and it is true of our faith too. sometimes i forget why Jesus died on the cross. oh maybe sometimes i forget who is Jesus. might just be a fictional character in my mind. thats why i live the way i live. in folly and strife. trying to make it on my own. prove that im somebody. but God has his way of doing CPR in our memory. and to revive our hearts with that greatest story in the history of mankind. so that we know how to live our short life with meaning.

night 3: that many times we come to God from a position of insecurity. thats why we try to always be a people pleaser. living for the expectations of man. having strife in our hearts. getting discouraged when things dont seem to go right and everything else goes terribly wrong. getting frustrated with God over matters that maybe doesnt matter. Oh. how foolish we are. its like a prince of the rich king who lives like a beggar not knowing his identity. we just need to know that its not about what we do. but who we are.

the rest of the night was spent talking family. about how pastor feels that he has made a big mistake by "automatically" instilling spiritual fathers/mothers in the church. which has caused some upheaval and disharmony because firstly maybe the father/mother is not ready to be one; not quite there yet. and maybe the member cannot get along with the "father/mother" and thus to label them as one would be a tremendous struggle. something that i grapple with too at my own journey.
and the other issue is that our church has become too clan-ish. my tribe. your tribe. "eh who you under?" UNDER??? which makes you feel like really under. pastor melvyn is right. deep but small. the segregation is so strong that when i see someone that i am close to from another tribe i feel that distance. very weird. hard to explain. and the homogeneous setting makes it even worse. may the divine flow happen in fcbc in this year of sabbath.

Musik for your ears...

2008-03-16T02:48:00.004+08:00

i come to realize that imeem is the best media player for blogs. cos its very legally ethical cos you cant download the songs. you have to buy them on itunes or amazon.
anw you can launch the "standalone player" to listen to all the songs. its very user friendly. and you dun have to upload any of the songs up to the net cos they have everything! as in really everything. just ADD to your playlist and it auto updates your music list. for all to enjoy. =p
wah i really love the JOANNA song. i think its a nice name man. at least to sing. haha. but too bad i dunno any joannas. ahha. recently ive been trying to improve myself. and in the midst of doing so, i find my skills super cannot make it. sight reading is horrendous. i couldent tahan so i bought the "so close" score to practise cos i think its worth it as the chord progressions and structures in the song can be very much employed in like church music setting. avant garde man. all the crazy slash chords plus dim7add9 blah blahs. think i really need to spend hours in front of the piano before i can see myself improving. no sacrifice no gain! some notes about the peter grant song. i think he has superb control of his voice. intensifying at the right musical moments to provide that goosebumping effect. awesome man. nice tone. good steady vibrato joanna a a a a a a a a. perfect pitching. good range. wah la! i want also. great interpretation of the piece man. phrasing. hmm cant seem to find any faults in his rendition. any complains anyone?

event full day

2008-03-16T01:55:00.009+08:00

after 9 hours in tct auditorium of learning about teaching methodology and about chinese culture, not only did it hurt the butt, the mind was having spasms; drifting into outer space while the very knowledgeable lecturer rambled on and on about chinese history. its was amazing. for 3hours non stop he went full speed about the chinese culture. trying to teach us about 5000 years worthed of history in that mere 3 hours. very impossible. he knows so much that i think he could have gone on for about another 48hours of lecturing w/o food and water. solid man!
its such an eventful day that it must be blogged down to remember.
after that, 3 of us rushed down to witness the commissioning of our dear brother luke. i learnt something about being a real brother today. no matter how much it cost, or how inconvenient it is; family is family and its about being there for each other, period.
turned out that cousin v was in the same infantry contingent as luke. and one of the kcp/cj junior was also commissioning. cant help but feel proud of them! elite troops man.
the weather was so good. God was holding the rain. although...

*deet*

We break now for an important news announcement. The next three days are going to be raining orang utans and elephants. The public is fore-warned and strongly advised to carry out the following suggestions;

either bring umbrella and/or bring extra underwear
portable batt operated hair dryer
sweater. can you see. 23 degrees that is colder than our usual air cons temps boys and girls...
learn to sing "raindrops are falling on my head..."
dun plan any outdoor activity. stay home and play uno.
take the chance to emo out

Its a glimpse of what people like angus face. Reminds me of one of my favorite michael buble;
"A foggy day in London town, had me low, had me down..." its interesting how the weather is linked slightly to how we feel.

anw...
the parade went on very smoothly. quite a defining moment for all of them it must have been. i have had very defining moments in SAFTI MI too. reporting sick and dental checkup. eating at the canteen. and of course the dear SOC ground that was second home to us while training in jurong camp! i was on the opposite side.

next stop. to celebrate eleta's birthday! wooo. we heard that there was a party going on at Singapore Arts Museum with free beer and food. sounds bogus right? i mean. its metropolitan 21st century modernised Singapore! where got free meals one!
shocking when we got there. not only there was free beer. there was free hotdogs. conetto ice creams. popcorn. candy floss. soft drinks and electrico was playing live! amazing. a few weeks ago i was there and it was SO peaceful the place. and today its just a total woah wee.

this picture is dedicated to our dear ty. =p even the celestials uses mac. happy?

don't pai seh la! its free what.! ahahha.

the bird-day girl! hope you like our present. =p its very gourmet you know~

high and happie! hahaa. my usual red face. candy floss ooooo la la. daniel you seh also ah.

the three basketeers. the free beer was great. we queued up for it and then the lady at the booth asked what would i like to drink.
"why not you tell me what to try?"
"oh i suggest for you, take the ultra light one. its very smooth"
she must be thinking. oh man this kiddo. better not let him try the macho one. give him the ah gua one first. bah. hahah. and i still cannot tahan.

aye bah.

Psalms a day...

2008-03-13T10:38:00.001+08:00

Hurray-ness. We have completed the first 2 books of Psalms and we're going on to the III book today.

"Whom have i in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"

I simply love this verse. Partly also when i read it there is a hillsong tune that comes to my mind. I'm sure you know it too. But i think this psalm is a prayer that i want to pray every single day for the rest of my life. That my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Earth has nothing i desire but you. I pray that God will help me to mean that because we all know that by the things we do and the things we spend our time in, we jolly know that we don't desire GOD!
we probably desire good grades in our studies. the new iphone. a new mac book. a girlfriend la. this and that. there are so many of our desires. not saying that its sin to want those, i'm sure God's desire is to bless us! but the good test is if we don't get what we want, do we get impatient or frustrated?

May we be able to make that our prayer today boys!

the cake is going, going, gone.

2008-03-10T20:58:00.007+08:00

recently in my mind there has been a few prominent strands of thought.

that life is a cake and i have already partaken close to 1/3 of it. and it actually wont be long before i am at the halfway mark and then past the halfway mark. and the last thing i want is to look back and regret not doing something in the prime of my life. so it boils down to living life intentionally and purposefully.
it is a transition period of my life and i felt this word "realignment" in my heart. its a season where i was searching high and low for a parking spot for this few months. on sat i went for BB in which i am planning or rather starting to volunteer there. as it is a heavy commitment i was weighing out all the pros and cons of joining and asking myself silly questions. but while i was waiting for narash at woodlands i had my answer which was found in the daily devotion of the day. and at the bottom there was a sentence that caused light to break through the darkness, printed in bold; "it is not what you do but who you are that is important" i thought that was exactly what i needed. most times in life we are very concerned about our to-do list but not the to-be list. gave me a good guideline for this few months. what do i want to be?
when we talk to people we tend to have two conversations going on simultaneously. one is on the surface which is what comes out from the mouth. and the other is on the heart level. like you know maybe like theres this girl that you kinda fancy, and then when you talk to her on the surface you are trying to be cool and suave and all but beneath the surface your blood is gushing from place to place esp. to the head cos you are planning your every speech, the next word, the right choice. or maybe theres this particular person that you cant stand. and people cant stand. so you bum into this person and then on the surface you are chatting about life, about what you are up to this weekend and hows your dog but at the heart level you are playing the gossip audio clip about how that guy did this and did that. may God help us so that both of them will be true. if we were given the talents of matt parkman to hear voices in other's heads. i think war will break out within 5 mins.
on reflection of pastor jon piper's weighty sermon: "the radical effects of the resurrection" we truly live in a world that wants to hear what they want to hear. and his sermon wasnt the kind that people or christians rather, want to hear. But it is often true that God often offends the mind to reveal the condish of our hearts. he shared a story that his 20th century hero, romanian pastor who was tortured in jail for 12years told. actually its more of a question: if you were married, and both you and good friend were expecting a child, and one of them had to be intellectually disabled and you could decide whose child was it... yours or your friends? who would you choose? i dare not answer that question.
there is much hellish love for money in every single human being
although i am glad to have ORDed but i grown to appreciate the time spent in army. i don't think it was a time wasted. whenever i am tired or i feel weak or fat i think back to my army days and reminisce the far more horrible times when i was pushed to the limits, to the breaking point. and then the obstacle in front seems smaller with my past experience of going through such tough times.

the world seems to be going crazy with their fast paced life. thats why i feel like i have some disease now. i think most of us are doing too many things at one time. not having time to do the things that are more important. and its funny that when we have the time, we may not even do those important things. like me.
on the lighter side of things...

sunday was special this week. its kinda good to have service altogether. feels more macho. and united. and also it cuts overheads, and gives more time for the rest of sunday.
so after the gathering huixuan house we went for dinner at arab street. we were discussing if smoking the sheesha is a sin. ahha.

haji haji lane. is the rare few authentic chain of vintage apparel shops. its so hip to be there! actually i think the place is getting more popular with the youths. i think i should start a kachang puteh stall there this weekend. might earn some big bugs.

check out the singapore skyline seh. not the bads. after the failed mission to find the piano teacher in action at raffles hotel, and circling raffles city a few times, we prong ourselves at the loof. the roof called the loof @ odeon towers. quite a scenic nice place with arty chairs. BUT cannot play cards ah kiddos. =( a waste. i never knew i could be so red and gone with a bottle of corona. need more training man.

music love

2008-03-07T00:29:00.002+08:00

today ben jon and i went for a free concert at the esplanade concert. a simple acoustic set of pop/jazz. the singer had a rather smooth voice man. this is the run off to the mosaic festival starting tmr =p so there will be more free concerts at the concourse everyday next week. do check them out. im thinking of going for 'kurt elling' or 'jools holland and his rhythm and blues orchestra concert'.
decided that im not going to waste all my time away this holiday before august in front of a computer earning 6 dollars an hour but will try to spend the time when i am off work, practicing the piano and guitar.
if there is anytime i am going to improve it is now. and for a long time ive been stagnant. tired of all the boring stuff i play. so to combat that, im starting to take jazz piano lessons. from this old man who plays at raffles hotel on sundays. he has been playing piano before my parents were born! and has been a professional for almost 37years.
i am very motivated to practice hard after i had my first lesson with him. he dropped two books on me. one on jazz scales and the other on riffs. enough to get my occupied for hours in front of the piano.
so its time to get my piano tuned up. and adjusting it to be more mellow.
was at kinokuniya trying to find this hanon jazz exercises score. but ended up getting jamie cullum's catching tales. so andrew watch out.
picked up Aaron Copland's 'What to Listen for in Music'. The late aaron copland wrote this book in 1939 during the peak of his career which at that time changed the perception people had about music. He is widely hailed as the first genuinely american american composer.

'In this fascinating analysis of how to listen to music intelligently, Aaron Copland raises two basic questions: Are you hearing everything that is going on? Are you really being sensitive to it? If you cannot answer yes to both questions, you owe it to yourself to read this book'

shiokers

2008-03-04T21:57:00.009+08:00

its been a crazy 2 days ever since fat boy touched down in singapore at 0035hrs 3rd march. there was much to accomplish with his very short stint of 30hrs. up till date my sleep clock stands at 4hrs for the past two days. but finally he is gone; time to sleep and snore blast everyone. beware-ness

ever since andrew met charmaine, he has been given an extra call sign above to the rest of his very wonderful nicks. chunky butt it is.
jon and i were bored so we went to the visitor's information centre to borrow paper and marker.
we decided that when angus comes back. we'll have this HUGE banner with his most BESTEST beggar photo on it. heh heh watch out.
underestimated the wrath of andrew the shopping monster. and was taken aback with his 20plus kg china bag and luggage. best part was that the getaway vehicle was at T3 shioks!

the best picture i took for ages man!!! hahaha.

mother and son picture

jonathan mr dao kia.

we brought our guitars along and decided to do something meaningful. ended up in sentosa! we drove in and realised that the gantries were no longer there! so it was free. happy happy.

glamour shot one.

un-glamour shot 1

after that fat boy had to head down to thomson bak cho mee to whack one times xiao wo mian. mee pok dry. the last supper.
to drew: its been great to have you back for 1 day. and definitely worth all the eye bags and head nodding exercises while taking bus since you came back.
may you find your significance. and plant yourself in the sweet spot where God has called you to.
remember to practise 'so close' (due to your 'promptings' huh) so that you can impress someone, and try to stop the train cos right now i am almost there. heh heh.
have fun with all your new expensive toys. cut your album soon. be praying for you and your family boy.
till we meet again soon =p adios amigos.

goon doo samy la dey

2008-03-02T01:17:00.003+08:00

its been a very dreamy season. many times discovering myself lost in thoughts. maybe its time where i am stressed thinking about how to spend my time wisely like what to do. how to get the money. how to save 20000 in 5years. where to go.
and today i had a very goon doo samy experience. got up the bus and was holding my wallet in my hand together with the black pod listening to pastor john piper from a podcast from desiringgod.org. i think i was rather intrigued that i had that particular podcast because just 2 days ago i watched a pastor john piper video by divine arrangement at a meeting and was pondering over it. so went into the bus sat down and got sucked into the sermon; how the spirit does what the law could not. you know one of those bible topics that paul talks about which you never really understood till you turn 21? at least for me thats what i felt. so i was trying to come to terms with what that sermon meant throughout.
came to the stop. so walked to the door and it opened. so in natural instinct i found myself searching the side of the crumpler for my wallet thinking it was supposed to be there. everyone else start to siam past me to get out of the bus. started off like casually looking cos magically everytime it will appear at the same location. but it wasnt there. so in all anxiety i searched the rest of the mess and i could not find it! it was super kan cheong for me. and with my fast analytical mind i was already planning how to replace the important stuff that lies within. (ive started to read this book called emotional intelligence. and the author says that there is 2 sides of our mind. one that feels and one that thinks. and when something sudden happens. we react with the feel side first and then the thinking side sets in) anw, so i stood there like a clown fiddling with my bag. it was rather obvious i was looking for something and that i wanted to get out of the bus. i wonder what were people who were looking at me thinking. all along with that brown wallet in my hands, merely inches from the deeet contact with the machine!
so the uncle closed the door thinking "weirdo!"
haha.
went back to the seat to "look" for my wallet that was missing. and the slap yourself in the head moment came when i realised it was in my very own palms. wonderful. beautiful. felt so so good. like i just completed the restoration of my magic illusion and appeared the wallet from infinity into my hands. ran out at the next stop.

lesson learnt: habits are hard to kick, even the good ones.

woooo oohhhh

2008-02-28T00:08:00.003+08:00

Look at the above picture given and choose an appropriate answer from the multiple choices below:

a) flaunting the HOUR GLASS figure in hope to win a beauty contest
b) too fat so have to don the slim wrap
c) was playing spiderman for real, got caught in a giant cobweb and was trying to get out
d) gearing up to fight a war against bugs

and the answer is..

D for delicious.

a memorable experience during a camp that i was involved in the past weekend. one of the components was to lead a group of secondary school kids to go and clean an elderly's home, and through that bring home a learning for themselves too. this is not the first time i've done this. but definitely the maiden trip having to face a real threat: bedbugs.
i would never believe that bedbugs multiply at the speed of light if i did not stepped into this house. the poor old man was living in a bug infested bed. so bad till the bed frames were literally rotting black in color. don't even ask about the condish of the mattress - extremely mint.
to prevent contamination of the bedbug eggs some of us had to put on an armor. which really made us look like cuckoos. we had to throw away the mattress down from the 3rd floor so people were really wondering if some aliens just came to earth to deposit some of their infectious buggies that started to crawl all over the grass patch that we threw it on.

classic.

although the old man kept chasing us out we had to buay pai seh and be stubborn for his own good and for goodness' sake! think we all felt good after that. knowing that we made a change to the living quality tremendously to this old man who is now sleeping on a new bed w/o bugs and cockroaches with a clean set of bedsheets.

tis the season to be lonely falalalala

2008-02-25T12:45:00.006+08:00

i have completed my NS finally. yay. and now the problem is what am i going to do in the time i have before i go to NUS in august!!! argh. have been thinking about that day and night. feel like a bummer some times. but feel like a super free man on others. i render that this is the point in my life that i will never ever get another chance to experience. or at least i hope not. cos the resource that is in the wallet is fast depleting and that is not a very good sign.
there is time now but no money. but next time when i grow old there will be money but no time.

i thought of becoming a taxi driver. i tot of flying away to another country for a mission trip. i tot of working at prata house. i thought of working at yamaha as a piano teacher. haha i tot about alot but i think not many are viable! although i think flying away to do missions would be a good plan but i doubt that is what God is calling me to do. so far i've tried relief teaching and i kind of enjoy that so i'm praying that some miracle will happen and there will be a pocket of space for me to do that.

but in the meantime this is what i have decided. i will take time to brush up on my musical skills as well as study for ABRSM grade 8 theory with the aim to sit for it this year. so i picked up this theory exercise book at yamaha the other day.
I am going to learn piano from this old man named terence which angus kindly introduced to me.
he used to be a hotel piano player. my dream is that i could work as one during my uni days to earn some spare cash! so im really looking forward to my first lesson with him. he says he has alot of material for me so i think that will be able to keep me occupied for a long while.
everyday there is this song that haunts me! stop this train by john mayer. i look back in my journey playing guitar i think that the times i improve MOST is the times when i practised hard to learn a new john mayer song!
like last time it was 'no such thing'. and then 'why georgia' and 'st patricks day'
its not about the song. its about the techniques involved. the finger work. the special chords he uses that are so oooohhh. the strumming patterns.
so i learn those that it changed the way i play the guitar. and right now in his new album continuum he employs this technique that requires your thumb to be independent from the rest. very hard. but i've been practising so hopefully there will be some results soon!

leadworship.com is a webby that paul baloche set up to teach on worship. it has alot of very good freebies in it like piano scores like band charts.
and while on that site i found something very exciting. on the 7th of Jan this year 12 world famous christian songwriters stayed at a little cottage in scotland together. and the reason was this:

they wanted to write songs together and cut an album and 100% of the money made will go contribute to the poorest places in this world!
think of any song you sing in church. probably one of them was the writer. and i think God is really using this very special people to reach the world for Christ.

their idyllic little cottage in scotland.

"Compassionart hosted an unprecedented gathering of award winning songwriters. Pictured (l-r) in Scotland, UK are: Matt Redman, Paul Baloche, Tim Hughes, Graham Kendrick, Steven Curtis Chapman, Israel Houghton, Michael W. Smith, Darlene Zschech, Andy Park, and Martin Smith and Stu Garrard (Delirious?).

Together these songwriters account for at least 40 million albums sold, 76 No. 1 songs, nine GRAMMY Awards, 98 Dove Awards, two Stellar Awards, two American Music Awards, and 78 current CCLI Top 500 songs sung by millions in churches around the world.

(Littlehampton, England) January 14, 2008 – What began as a vision for Delirious? frontman Martin Smith and his wife Anna over a year ago has finally came to fruition this past week. Some of the world’s greatest songwriters were brought together for the Compassionart songwriter’s retreat in an effort to create ongoing global relief for the poorest of the poor. Setting out to write 10-12 songs, these songwriters far surpassed that goal completing 22 new songs during the retreat held last week at the House of Cantle in Perthshire, Scotland. The songs are to be given to the world not just to sing, but also to raise money for the relief of suffering around the planet. One hundred percent of the proceeds derived from the songs will go directly to charity.

Working together toward a common goal involving no personal gain, internationally recognized songwriters attending the retreat included: Paul Baloche, Steven Curtis Chapman, Stu Garrard (Delirious?), Israel Houghton, Tim Hughes, Graham Kendrick, Andy Park, Matt Redman, Martin Smith (Delirious?), Michael W. Smith and Darlene Zschech. While many of the writers were only professional acquaintances at the beginning of the week, by the end of the week they not only created what may come to be world changing songs, but also life-long friendships."

haha look at the picture. out of all these great songwriters there is only one lady. does that mean guys have more chance to write good songs? hmm i think before i kena any slippers i will keep quiet. =p

Jesus is my tuning fork

2008-02-21T23:21:00.004+08:00

tonight is the second night on pastor benny's teaching on the book of philippians. from the exegesis of Phil chapter 2: 1-11 he shared about eradicating self-centredness, about embracing true humility and to emulate Jesus.
i like his teaching because he uses very apt stories and illustrations to paint the mental picture to help us understand the word of God to greater insight. and how he cracks us up with his careful use of humor.
to eradicate self centredness, we have to consider others better than ourselves. many a time we are just too pre-occupied with ourselves. maybe a good way of checking ourselves is to notice the number of "I"s and "ME"s that you employ in a conversation. ?
We as chinese are very good at acting humble. Pastor shared a joke about how a typical conversation goes like this:
"oh charles, wah you today play the guitar very well lehz..." (a praise being given)
"oh no la, not really la. " (trying to be humble)
and then when someone else comments that my guitar today sound very weird i get all flustered and unhappy inside.
so that "humility" was not genuine!
point 5: if you are truly humble, you will accept praise but not flattery!

John Stott made a profound statement:

"Humility is not another word for hypocrisy; it is another word for honesty. humility is not pretending to be other than what we are, but acknowledging the truth about who we are"

before he ended he was commenting on CHAIN PRAYER.
you know the kind that goes anti-clockwise or clockwise and everyone take turns to pray?
i identify with it cos we always use this "tactic" when praying for people.

so he asks us. what do you think the rest of the people are doing when the guy beside him starts?
they are FORMULATING their prayers!! stringing it together. so that when it reaches their turn they can open their golden mouths and out comes forth the spring of life, words that are almost magical spreading wings reaching heaven. (exaggeration here sorry)
and the best is the last guy. he has the most time to think of what to say. and then ALAMAK the person beside him said the stuff he wanted to say!!! sian. er er er already.

how true. how true. we should be agreeing in prayer. amen -ing and yes -ing to what the person praying is saying and not think about what to pray!

i learnt that pray has to be real. no need for big words. no need to show off our KJV english thee thou art. no need to make people fall asleep.
but one that is sincere before God. and He listens...

Carrots/Eggs and a Teabag

2008-02-21T01:20:00.005+08:00

tonight is the first part of pastor benny ho's teaching on the book of philippians. there was much i received through his teaching. he started with the background of the book, which is actually a 'thank you' letter from paul to the church in Philippi. Acts 16:6-7 shows us that God led paul to go to mesopotamia to be captured and thrown into prison literally.
But God used his chains to birth the church there. for 4 years he was chained to a elite palace guard 24hrs a day. on a 6 hour shift. and thats how he started to witness to them telling them the good news about Jesus. in a way the soldiers were the one that couldnt run away. and so thats how the soldiers started to be converted.
God can use our chains if we stop complaining and start consecrating them to Him. Some examples he quoted was the mother of John and Charles Wesley who had 19 children! and she prayed for hours and hours each day. finally producing two man of God who brought revival to England.
Fanny Crosby the blind lady who decided not to wallow in her own plight and wrote thousands of hymns during her lifetime.
Crisis is when we see who Christ is.
"What does it matter?"

he started the next session by saying that the day we become Christians, we have stepped not into a playground by into a battlefield. We have become a friend of God but an enemy of satan. he goes on to comment on how christians are arrowed once they make known their faith. like when we say something wrong or do something not so morally upright they'll say: "wah you christian? call yourself a christian?" somewhat the only safe form of bigotry in the world today.
3 Cs of christian conduct that would reflect Christ;

Consistency in our walk.
"whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ..."
Proverbs 24:10 - "if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength?"
a carrot, an egg and a teabag was each put in a pot of boiling water. after 5mins the results were as such.
carrot became soft and lem bake
egg became hard boiled egg. solid
teabag became a teabag but just slightly wet

am i a carrot when facing a trial in my life become soft and weak in my faith?
am i an egg that hardens my heart and become cynical and a skeptic when put to the test?
or am i a teabag that remained the same form and used the opportunity to produce something good?
i think im an egg most of the times.

Cooperation in our work
Hebrews 13:17
"Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account, obey them so that their work may be a joy not a burden for that would be of no advantage to you."
something close to my heart. something that im journeying in. what is the difference between obedience and submission. the former is an action, the latter is an attitude. i realize i could be applying just half of the equation of God's word. maybe there is the action but subtlety hiding a doubtful and skeptical heart.

Confidence in our warfare
|if we dont face the devil at some point in our walk, maybe we might be going in the same direction as him!|
that was something that was on my mind in recent times. i was thinking why am i always faced with problems and temptations and struggles.
if i was the devil i would probably attack those little kiddos that are walking with Christ and trying to be a goody two shoes, serving the Lord, trying to win people over! and those half hearted ones, they are of not much threat to me i think i'll save my time on them isnt it?
thats why there is always a need to pray for those in leadership. the higher the level of spiritual authority, the bigger the devil they have to face!

the night was ended with pastor benny rallying us to pray for our own churches. that there will be unity of the Spirit. He shared that there was sometime ago in his previous church he had a mentor that had disagreements with the church and he too was influenced, disgruntled and unhappy. so for 6 months he led a life of silent rebellion. there was much strife within him. one day a speaker came to town and he was convicted, thereafter repented for his attitudes. and that weekend it was the same pastor, same style of sermon, same voice but had revelation after revelation during the service. from judges 5 we can see that the church becomes strong when the leaders stand up to lead and the people willingly follow. i pray that we'll have that attitude.

"As I thank You Lord for the trials that come my way
In that way I can grow each day as I let You lead
And I thank you Lord for the patience those trials bring
In the process of growing I can learn to care

But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down
And let the spirit take control of all I do
Cause when those trials come my human nature shouts the things to do
And God’s soft prompting can be easily ignored

I thank you lord with each trial I feel inside
That you’re there to help lead and guide me away from wrong
Cause you promised Lord that with every testing
That your way of escaping is easier to bear

I thank you Lord for the victory that growing brings
In surrender of everything life is so worthwhile
And I thank you Lord that when everything’s put in place
Out in front I can see your face and it’s there you belong"

All In A Week's Work

2008-02-16T23:07:00.023+08:00

BFG whoosh. Hankerchiefs at mustafa at the ties/socks/deh kor section. we were disappointed not to find any nice suspenders. they all look very lok cok. those chinaman wear one not nice so no buy.

This is the BFG friend who has an interesting job making underwears and such for the incredibles family and other heros. she majors in material science engineering. hail prof edna mode.

The poor turnout at the singles party! horribles.

As angus is away the custom steamboat dinners will be changed to bird guo instead of sham guo till the man himself comes back from engrand to be with us.

the plan was to meet mr j at 6pm at singapore arts museum because i was feeling arty that day and wanted to visit one and found out that arts museum is free on friday evenings from 6pm - 9pm. while walking towards the arts museum familiar sounds caught my attention. sounded like violins and some brass instruments tuning. lo and behold! the Singapore Symphony Orchestra was at the SMU garden playing. what a miracle to see them there at such a casual event. and it was totally free. and since mr j was late it was just PERFECT.
i remembered camy was supposed to be having a talk at 6pm in smu so i msged her told her about the concert and then from afar these two people were waving at my direction. camy and janelle. ahhaha. so i planted myself beside them and enjoyed the free concert. clarence soon was lured too.
they played a few cheena songs like gong xi gong xi gong xi ni but the first violinist delivered it with near perfection in a very pleasant and musical way! they should play such music during chinese new year and totally scrap the tong tong qiang mtvs with little girls and boys full of make up, holding their cheena drums dancing around!!!
and then they played some pieces from Prokofiev. and then one of my favorite West Side Story piece! they were so good! but a pity we couldnt see the brass players from where we were seated due to the elevation. the crowd was very impressed but as usual always clapping in between movements. the tell-tale sign of being a non musician. you can tell that the entire piece is finished when the conductor downs his baton and the musician do not frantically flip their scores. the brass players will also down their instruments. and then the conductor will invite the orchestra to stand. that is when to clap =p
and there was this guy behind clarence and i shouting "bravo bravo !!!" near the end. "eh harlo this is singapore!" haha.

clarence. forgoing his studying in the library just to listen to SSO. what a sacrifice!!! haha.

The fountain in the art museum. it has a symmetrical twin fountain on the other side of the building. very interesting.
I was suggesting having cell groups at this location sometime. Its so tranquil and somewhat surreal, the atmosphere within. no photography is allowed in the exhibit rooms. but the some of the art inside really makes you feel disturbed. some make you feel happy. some make you feel sad. i sat there in marvel of the paintings and think about the talents that God gives to man, to be able to express their emotions and thoughts into something so tangible and moving. How great is our God!
alot of couples were in there. maybe the girlfriend pull the guy in so boh pian have to act artistic and everything. look deep. look intellectual. some more free man. i think next time i also will come here to pak tor. so romantics.

the most memorable exhibit was the one on the third floor about SEALS.
on display was this tua leng kong seal. made by this famous seal maker in singapore i think his name is W.S. Hoong, who presented it to Mr. LKY back in the 1960s. and there was this person who bought it at an auction for a record 600,000 dollars!!! and then loan it to the art museum for display. it looks really intricately beautiful.
haha. then this malay guy came up to us and said that he was an arts student and wondered if he could take some photos of me looking at one of the drawings on the wall.
"er i don't need your face. just your back can already. ya face the wall. thanks."

"thanks!"
hahahhaa. so much so for not taking photos in the museum huh. =p

The last prayer meeting. so kelvin decided to wear something nice. hahaha. so everytime he wears something nice we have to take photo to commemorate. heh.

Our G12 cny dinner. as you can see we are all poor people with no money to buy the 22 dollar lou hei so we decided to lou hei our omelette dish!
as typical growing boys the food was ALL gone in a flash. like 10mins. there was silence throughout. except the occasional "oei dont selfish leh pass the kang kong here."

Our own private function in Hong Kong street.
in the wish and WAH list of all primary school kids. and now...
the trademark of a true bfgian. a casio calculator watch.
dont be fooled. actually it is armed with a GPS system and a walkie talkie. and can tell the altitude. your bearings and also your heart rate, blood pressure.
and by the way my hand is the one that is more hairy. hahaha. ty boh tak one. not man la you!

buy one at mustafa. on sale. 25dollars only. limited stock.

bfg bfg bfg bfg

2008-02-14T01:09:00.003+08:00

it almost didnt happen but thank God we decided to carry on. It was a really blessed night with half of the BFGians. jaien is flying off come friday so its the last time to catch up again for the next few months.
dinner at IRAS building was great. so was our excursion to mustafa. i just found out they have two seperate buildings! and we bought the same cheap casio watch as a mark of a true BFG member. HOOIK!

And so the story ends

2008-02-13T01:01:00.001+08:00

And so the story ends.

Today was the finale. The moment every NSF waits for and yearns for. That second your eyes fix its glaze on something pinkish. the mini-second you make contact with that long lost treasure, signifying the end of the national service phase in our lives is simply un-matched shiokas!!

I still remember the day my dad drove me into jurong camp. bald headed. heavy laden with barang and heavy hearted with worries and disbelief.
It seem two days ago i peered out of the window to the civilisation in the great outdoors and sulk.
God has indeed seen me through the past two years.

No matter how gloom the situation may be God always shows his favor and protection upon me.
Especially eminent in field camps and times of distress. I always see, mostly on hindsight, that God has blessed me and charted the course, blazed the trail for me this two years.

On the way while getting my clearance form processed i bumped into a very familiar sergeant in a very familiar situation.
"(&**$&$(# eh you first day soldier ah! carry on 20."
he was tekaning some poor private. i identified with him. 1 year ago i was in the exact same situation. but now sergeant are friends. we fight together. eat magi mee together. illegally buy drinks from the ninja van and rebel against the OC hand in hand. compared to the times he tekan us until we forget our names.
I vividly remember once. i was the platoon IC. and then we were happily bathing doing our own stuff in bunk after a day's training. and then the sergeants walk past and smile.
i look at him and smile back thinking, WAH HE LIKES ME... =p
"eh charles"
* and shows me the number 7 with his hands.
"TURN OUT!!! wah lao!!!"
wah chiong ah. everyone shouting "OH 7 minute 7 MINutes!!!, faster *$%@& !!"
poor us change into our army uniform, wear our boots, put on full battle order and fall in downstairs in the shaolin U formation.
as the garang disciplined soldier i was, i chased them to hurry up. then i ran down first. by then most people were down in the parade square already. at that moment my shoulders felt naked.
too light to be true. maybe i was more muscular so didnt feel the weight of the field pack. and then came the sad hard realization that i left my field pack upstairs. 5 storeys high.
by time i ran up and down it was 9minutes already. platoon ic somemore. GARANG.

so thats our life for the first 6 months. living in fear. doing a few thousand buddha claps a day, kissing the floor with push ups.
oh and there was once. they did that to us. and it was very very jia lat. my buddy was this very very decent nice guy. no cuss words no bad habits. very clean and proper guy.
after knowing him for so long that night he uttered his first vulgarity. i was stunned.hahah. the pronunciation was abit erm bad..? haha
but anw when we got up. there was fresh hot pizza. and a dispenser full of coke!!! so that was their way of treating us to supper. well done.

all the field camps... from the ones that we got time to use our bayonet to open durians and eat, to the ones that we stay up all night digging our shell scraps, to the very memorable thailand trip. but if you ask me to go back now i think i will think twice. but if can do without the helmet and rifle and the green uniform i would definitely go through everything again.

i feel i have emerged through this very trying time as a stronger person. stronger in being able to take hardships and persevere when life really sucks. and know that our God is a hero that will save us no matter our circumstance.

Un Cooped

2008-02-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

Being cooped up at home the entire week since the operation was tough. i probably watched every single program on discovery. from Man VS Wild to my favorites Mythbusters to Lobsters Wars and wadever have you, its all been viewed.

So New Year was very very warmly welcomed. I thank God that i see a trend within the family visits. like every year that goes by the cousins are getting closer to one another. opening up and talking deeper than surface irritating "oh you have grown taller wow; oh so where are you studying?" heh we were joking in the midst of our boredom that next year we'll have a separate activity planned out for the cousins only. like rent a van loaded with all the kids and then go botanical gardens to smell grass/picnic and play softball!

there was great fun and slight pain in going visiting the sham gang. heart pain + physical pain in the shoulders.. yes ban luck ah. texas holdem. in between your nose ah.
i think i lost like 10dollars. but its all in the name of chinese new year eh!
and then the weekend ended today at jonathan's. was a great time over a sumptuous dinner. and lotsa fun hearing andrew ng greatest hits! and looking at our super buang photos that we took years ago! hahaha. hilarious.
so that nicely concludes the 2008 chinese new year week!
hola!

thank God also for today's sermon i think its one of the most refreshing ones i had for many months. its like as if im the target board and all the arrows come firing at the places it hurts the most. i really think pastor khong is one man who really knows God. and he knows God through very interesting avenues like playing polo, going skiing... i remember when i was in bangkok being part of the 15-strong singapore fan club supporting the sea games, pastor khong shared with us what he learnt from his journey playing polo which really motivated us. motivated us to learn to play polo which is not very plausible. but i think more than that i caught a heart that never ceases to let God lead and teach through any and every opportunity.
Indeed many a time i find myself comparing to other people. you know other people. like those who do what they want and more often than not get what they want. envy. eeee.
and very true it is. that vanity or self-consciousness is the manifestation of sin!
Gen 3:7 is the complimenting verse that proves to us with undeniable clarity that we are self conscious of how we look, how we think about ourself because of sin.
that doesnt mean that we shouldnt like look presentable. or try to look young and hip and cool and funky, but i think most of us are doing it in overkill mode. like how i spend hours poring over www.acne.org
i admit. praying "OH GOD PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY PIMPLES ITS RUINING MY LIFE!"
i think God did somehow. but the root issue is still the same! thats what i concluded.
im putting my security in my looks. in my abilities. in my zhu pengs and gou yous. in my talents...
whats the solution to the problem equation?

deny thy self of thy needs and wants!

"delight yourself in the lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart"
i look at my "desires of my heart" list. hmm i think it needs some vetting and changes. i think i can take away some of them.
its hard. through the service i was on the brink of tearing. cos the message is really one that i really needed to hear. so that i know that i am doing the very thing that God wants me to do.
deny myself. give it all up. and wait. in his time.

*DEEEEEEEE....*
we pause for a very important commercial.

Bird for Hire
asking $100 dollars for a day's wages
Able to do most chores except those requiring right hand (excuse long term)
Negotiable

takers?

2 days ho ho

2008-02-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

this photo brought back hauntings of my army training. ben showed me this forum where this US soldier posted pictures from the iraq war that showed a different perspective of what the war was. and this was one of the photos he took.

oh man this is like 6 coil concertina wire. i think a tank won't be able to get past that.
poor US engineer soldiers...

i'm sitting at home now and i thought. hmm when am i going to ord? cos it feels like ive ORDed like 1 month ago since i went to bangkok. and then the truth slowly unfolds.. (my mind's abit affected by the general anaesthesia)

its 2 days to ORD baby!!

but im not all that elated. cos with my arm like that i don't really know how to go back and collect it and more importantly how am i in the world going to brandish and flash it for my poor platooneers that have another month to go. well actually i think its good then i use my arm as the excuse for them to pardon me from tau poks and whatever they have been plotting for like 1 year.
like whipped cream for euche loh, chilli sauce packet, basha stick, deep heat + yoko yoko gao lak.
haiz. im sorry guys. i think you've gotta wait till reservist. hmm maybe not anymore! hahaha.

post op celebrations

2008-02-04T12:28:00.000+08:00

thank God for the peeps who have been coming over to my place to accompany me. its been a great blessing. esp the night we had a party with all the food i was craving for =p. so yeaps thanks esp camy boss for organisings everything and also daniel for the book (its a very interestingly blunt book)
the feeling of being handicapped is =*(. when i was in the hospital i was thinking about the people who go in and out of operations for major health problems. such as maybe cancer. and its really very very hard to imagine the pain that they have to endure. and maybe most of them dun have the luxury of friends or family who would buy kfc and watch dvds together during this period.
for me after this op i pray that for a super long time i aint need to go thru the same process again.
i realize that if we dun intentionally make an effort to have a heart of compassion, we'll never probably have one. like when we lead our routine mundane lives we seldom meet people who are really sick or in need because most of them will be at home resting. either that or unable to move or afraid to go out in public...hmm. nuggets for thought.

the bird is down!

2008-01-31T19:49:00.000+08:00

finally home. relieved that the operation and its after effects has worn off.
im typing with one hand now. powers. and i think i'll be out of action until valentine's.

the pre op process was quite funny. i went there @ 1230pm to register. and then the nurse attending to me said i have to pay 20% of the fees. cos SAF only pays 80%.
so i was stunned. 20% is like a thousand bucks i thought in my mind. and i aint got no thousand bucks on me. so i panic. but act pro first...

"er so nurse how much will that amount to?"
*she takes the calculator and starts pressing
"oh that will be 5 60.."
*wah jia lat $560 thats like one month's pay gone!
"i mean 5 dollars 60 cents..."
*smiles, takes out and pays in cash full!
haha then i realised she was refering to the ward's fee not the operation itself. heng!

so then i went to the pre op ward. this indian lady comes up to me and shows me how to get into the surgery gown thingy.
"boy... u take everything off ah, yr shoes/socks and also yr panty..."
*wah how she know i wear panties????
"and then this one is the disposable panty ah u put on... then (shows me how to put on the rest)"
hhahah i was laughing all the way. having some gender issues there...

ok so i waited with my dad beside me telling me about his 4 past operations... joking and all.. and then i see people one by one being wheeled into the operation"factory" behind us by this green scary aliens with funny things on their head.

finally. my alien appeared. asked me questions for like the 100th time. and then i din really tell her about the pizza i had with narash the night before at 1230am (supposed to be fasting by 12am) but narash the senior medic of the royal navy says 12hrs should be okay. so we had a hawaiian pizza over some jazz music. wonderful.
ok so she pushes my trolley down a few corridors and finally wheels me into this room. nurses were coming in and out of the automatic sliding doors. and then i realised behind me was the operating theatre where the doctors were working on one guy. and i was queuing up to be the next victim.
so i could hear what they were conversing about. haha. that got me quite nervous at points. so i just laid there and started to sing some songs in my head. thinking about some people. some good memories.. and then soon i was IVed on a drip. subsequently the gates opened and there i went.
the last i remember was choking because the nurse pushed the oxygen into my face, and the doctor taking this huge syringe. i could feel the liquid entering the veins on my left hand and within 5seconds i was knocked out.

the next moment i was awake in my mind. i couldent feel my limbs. but in my head i could think. so i started to say my name, ic number, think of some people and did some math like 2+2=?
the feeling was really weird. soon after i could move my toes. at that moment i was happy to be back on earth.
my lungs was hurting everytime i breathed in. and i was struggling to keep my eyes opened.
i stayed in the post op ward for 4hrs before i could be discharged due to my low blood pressure and oxygen supply. i almost had to stay over for the night.
so when i reached home i wanted to go to sleep cos i was feeling so miserable. but i couldnt sleep. woke up sweating at 12midnight went to the bathroom to vomit. and it was all blood! got a shock man. i sat down in the toilet like lost. but after that i felt much better. went back to sleep. woke up feeling normal this morning.

hope i'll recover in time to collect my own hong baos... =*(

oh and while trying to youtube this SO CLOSE that andrew and my sister got my hooked on i found this!!!!
hahahaha. at first i felt quite bad laughing but i mean he dared to put this up so he shouldnt mind people commenting? ha. it tickled me abit. ahahah andrew may it be an encouragement! dun laugh!

The Time Has Come

2008-01-30T11:41:00.000+08:00

in may last year, i dislocated my right shoulder while going for a smack in a game of badminton. which immediately sent me smacked on my face to the ground. my opponent thought i "chut stun" again because i was losing. i wished i was. that day changed my life. and it changed my course throughout army which hmm on hindsight really wasnt too bad eh.
so after visiting the army specialist doctor a few times and subsequently going to TTSH to consider operation, today is the day it ends. at first i was rather reluctant to go for the op. there are many people who can live normal lives with their loose shoulder. the rate of re-dislocation is 90%. so i thought... oh man im still young and hip and i want to like climb mountains, do crazy stuff without the fear of my shoulder trying to run away...
and since army is going to pay. lets just do it.

i thank God because its really by his grace that the operation can be today. it was meant to be in april this year due to the LONG LONG list of patients he operate on. and if wanted it to be earlier we would have to upgrade to a private patient = 1k plus plus
which also means that army will not cover the expense because my injury is well.. not exactly a service injury. so my parents would have to part with at least 5000 dollars.
but the doctor was so nice.
he slot me in at today's date 1week before i ORD. but he said that he probably will not be the one operating.

ytd the nurse called and said that Dr. Oh will do it personally (he is the senior consultant). so thats awesome!

thank you everyone who sent me smses to tell me to be strong. well that actually made me more anxious!
and narash who kindly told me his story about how he woke up during his operation when we were out ytd to listen to some jazz to calm our souls.
thanks for the letter.
thanks for your overseas call angus. that meant alot.

adios amigos.

just keep going on.

2008-01-29T17:35:00.000+08:00

its one day before the operation. and i was at home looking through the photos and videos i took for the past few months and came past this video that my dad took at the Play On competition. if i look back at my music journey i think this is one of those that really caused me to be humbled.

i think one of the major flaws was that we didnt manage our equipment well. the setting up part was too slow thus i was even more kan cheong. which explains the "natural vibrato" at the keyboard part. and then the distortion stompbox was tweaked accidentally to zero on the level knob and i didnt realise.

however, all in all its a boo boo that will make us better musicians. I really enjoyed the process of preparing for the competition. still remember 2weeks before we still had NO IDEA of what to play for the competition and then when andrew came over to stay we stayed up for 1 hour to figure out the song at my void deck @ 2am! it was there that we came up with the "favorite part" of the song where we changed the melody slightly as musically as we could.
further more some complications caused us to do a band reshuffle 2days before it. but we decided to carry on because its very bad to pull out with so short notice. in fact one day before the competition we also changed the "solo" of the song.

like every song that i screw up there will need to be retake! like the ONE LAST CRY (really cry man!) i played for David long time ago in magic box and played alot of wrong notes, we retook it in CJC when he came for a show advertisement there.
so very soon we'll put this up. and this time no more buanging!

Play On!!!

finding ourselves

2008-01-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

"EVERY MAN WAS ONCE A BOY. And every little boy has dreams; big dreams: dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty.

But what happens to those dreams when we grow up? Walk into most churches; have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian Man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are. . . bored.
In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. And he invites women to discover the secret of a man's soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer."

What a daring introduction i thought. But at a second reflection: "what a honest comment"...
This is one of those books that while reading you get goosebumps and feel as though the Almighty is saying: "hello dey this is what im trying to get across to you!"

An excerpt that is apt for me:

"The spiritual life cannot be made suburban," said Howard Macey. "It is always frontier and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed." The greatest obstacle to realizing our dreams is the false self's hatred of mystery. That's a problem, you see, because mystery is the heart of the universe and the God who made it. The most important aspects of any man's world - his relationship with God and with the people in his life, his calling, the spiritual battles he'll face - every one of them is fraught with mystery. But that is not a bad thing, it is joyful, rich part of reality and essential to our soul's thirst for adventure. As Oswald Chambers says,

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculative that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. . . Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation. (My utmost for His Highest)

There are no formulas with God. Period. So there are no formulas for the man who follows him. God is a person, not a doctrine. He operates not like a system - not even a theological system - but with all the originality of a truly free and alive person.

Help me O God to put my trust in you. Even when things are uncertain.

Fish man..

2008-01-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

we went on a hunt for fishing equipment today. and walked like 3 km from toa payoh mrt to the fishing shop. George you da man!

racks and racks of lures and fishing equipment...

the cheapo happy customers.. spending less than 20 dollars but getting everything we need for another shot at fly fishing in lower pierce. its going to be my solitude place for tmr morning.

we decided to walk back to bishan. george was leading the way because i'll bring him to holland.
actually you could take that literally. the first time i went out with george we hollanded to holland drive market for a drink. aha.

the overcast mooon along the flyover

Melaka Ka ka!

2008-01-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

my family went for a road trip on sat to melaka! whee. it was the first time my dad could sleep in the car. cos the son has grown up now and can drive. so for the 100 times that we have gone malaysia this is the first he can slump back in the seat and enjoy the ride.
it was a wonderful time just hanging out together as the tan family.
here are some stuff that we snapped.

the "padang" in melaka. which has evolved into this giant shopping centre. real huge!

the chendol at aunty lee's restaurant. wah shioks ah!

phney with her hippo face posing with the sambal fish. wah it was so good you can eat it all up including the bones! the eyes were nice. yum yum.

oh and i saw alot of andrews!!! wah when i see that i really miss you man fat boy.

the tan kids.
absent with apologies: Brendon kor kor. ( excuse family trip ) why ah why ah!

my date tonight

2008-01-17T23:01:00.000+08:00

i had a date tonight. someone i havent hung out with for a long time. someone whom im supposed to be close to. we used to be close but we became enemies during our angsty adolescent period of our lives. but i guess we're out of that already! ahaha.

drum role...

i grabbed that picture from the photo frame hanging outside in the living room haha. what happened delphne!! see im still so slim!!! hehehe.

we went to catch the CLOVERFIELD movie. WAH its super crazily extremely exhilarating show!!! though the first part it gave us headaches. i think its one of those shows you gotta catch! its something like the blairwitch project show. but this time its not pontiana its like GIANT FATTY MONSTER!
superb film!

www.cloverfieldmovie.com

My Apologies Ty...

2008-01-17T22:57:00.001+08:00

Im sorry ty i didn't ask for permission before showing people your photos!!! haha. gone were the day la we used to hang out and take lame pictures... time to get back into doing that brO!
hahahha.

Goofy Sunglasses

2008-01-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

This is CHOU CHOU!

2008-01-14T18:19:00.000+08:00

its a beautiful morning!

2008-01-13T09:00:00.000+08:00

"its a beautiful morning to worship the lord

this is the day...

this is the day!"

lalalala.

after a :( day. the best thing to do is to sleep early and....

Go CYCLING and FISHING!

George and i woke up real early. before the sun was up we were up against the morning chills!
Cycled to casurina prata and won the FIRST CUSTOMER award.
Next we glided down the wonderful old upp thomson road for about 1km to the lower pierce reservoir where we did some work.

Our favorite transport.

So we went to fish!

George taught me how to fish. for the first time! i tied the knots of the fishing line myself. thank you george. you are da MAN!

It was really the perfect morning. though we din catch any fish. =( but we'll be back for more fishing adventures together right george?

george you are really such a smart boy! thank God for you. lets go cycling soon.

announcement: from effect of today the

cute little furry monster miss chou chou will return to the angus' jungle home

so if you wish to catch her in action. please make your way to the yio chu kang chalet.

anw today after cycling i brought her down for her last walk/run. and finally by taking off my shoes i ran faster than her as usual from halfway line. hahaha. winner! try again chou chou!

haiz. im going to miss chou chou. so therefore its another reason to visit the chalet. and while wrecking the bandroom i can bring chou chou out.

dun mind ah angus!

madness

2008-01-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

as much as we love holidays. i think they actually wear me out more than when im in full time army training. because of the late nights, all the activities that you bombard yourself with. oh man. sometimes i love to be in camp just to sit in the office and write/read stuff alone. and catch a dvd or two.

with effect of today.

no more hanging out so much

no more late nights

no more spending money like no tmr

no more travelling round the world with the car

think its really time to cool down and let the year of sabbath kick in. right now the engines' still hot man!

anyway i'll prob be spending the next two weeks in camp before i go for my operation on the 30th. need to clear the medical FFI and all that first though. been taking off/leave miraculously. some people are still amazed how did i do it? hmm!

mom came into the room just now and said:

"Chardee how this sat we go malacca?"

"*pause* ON!"

we were planning to go on a road trip sometime soon. but im glad is this soon. its going to be a fun time for our family to catch up. and for me to test my driving skills on the north south highway voom voom!

da monster

2008-01-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

for the past week a monster has invaded my humble abode!

and the monster is none other than...

CHOU CHOU!

For once in our lives when we walk the dog we dont sweat! Perkee was often the master and we his pets. Dragging us around and all. It was inevitable that we sometimes call chou chou perkee! well i think she is very different from perkee. character wise she is much more affectionate. and we actually enjoy bringing her for walks. she eradicates the need for a leash because she will stay close to you.
And its fun bringing her to the basketball court. She is an ultra fast sprinter. i try to sneak away while she is sniffing the fence at one end, and when i get to the halfway mark i try to chao as fast as my cars would carry me. but chou chou always win. after 10 times i gave up!

Anyway thank you mom and dad for saying okay to host this wonderful animal for a week. its time to return her to angus' jungle home and for us to clean up and prepare for dong dong dong chiang!

blogging outlet

2008-01-02T21:36:00.000+08:00

oh if you are bored of music. and need a new inspiration click track 7 on the --------->
of this page. when you wish upon a star from an album called ken's bar. its really the song i would like to be able to play. really enjoy the arrangement esp the interlude!

recently i've been into the thought of what makes friends friends? while deeply dwelling in it i realise that friendship is in itself a phenomena. no one can quantify the level of friendship or put a gauge to it. its purely based on the state of the mind. why are good friends good friends? anyway if you type friends to search on wiki you get the famous friends sitcom and in a way the show redefine and warps what friends are and supposed to be!
webster tells us friends are people with mutual affection. and i second what pastor melvyn shared during his sermon on friendships and relationships that friendships are the basis on every relationship.
i personally feel that its something that has to be very natural. non-imposing. enjoyable. and many a times when we choose to be a good friend to others we find ourselves having more.
but at the end of it all if we choose to put all our hope in our friends then when the fine day God decides to put us to the test we will fail because our friends are just like us finite beings. its when we put our hope in Christ and can say it again again, hear it again and again without it being cliche, then we find freedom. put your bets on things that will last. i conclude with a poem obviously not written by me cos im rather literally challenged. =) hope its speaks to everyone of you, friends?

I prayed for you before we met,

Not knowing who you'd be.

I asked the Lord to send a friend.

One chosen just for me.

I asked that they'd be Godly,

With wisdom of His ways.

A friend to help and guide me

In the troubles of these days.

So often in life, we need someone

To listen while we talk.

Someone who will not condemn or judge,

But encourage us as we walk.

The narrow road we choose to follow

May sometimes make us stumble.

But to have a friend to catch our fall,

Teaches us to be humble.

When I asked the Lord to send a friend,

Though many came and went.

He gave much more than I ever asked,

For you are the friend He sent.

one day two heartbreaks

2008-01-02T18:49:00.000+08:00

to andrew: thanks for your company this hols. its been much better than last year. its time to put the pillow and blanket you use at my house back into the cupboard. of course before that have to wash first cos you are such a droool. we even went for a competition together! haha. although it was such a negative experience but i think back and feel that its worth it man. something memorable that we'll talk about even in a few years cos it was so BUANG!! hahah.
will miss the times you try to cupcake us. miss the times we stay up till 6am to talk in the car. miss the times we had in bangkok feeling like losers cos we couldent bargain. the bang bang outings. the prawning trips! the times that you were really "HUNGRY" hahaha and had to be fed some nice "stuffs".
well see you in a bit! praying for you as you do your internship over there. be safe. see you on 3rd march for one day.

to angus: goodbye my friend for now. haiz, i dunno if we are going to hang out as much without you around. the boss is gone. lady boss is sad. going to miss our supper trips. miss getting chio chio's hair all over my pants at your house. miss prawning together. miss you at G12 meetings. miss jamming in your house and getting complains from your neighbours. miss talking to you when i felt so jia lat.
anw thanks mate. think this same seperation will be in a way good. for you to have some time to think thru about life and all those college questions that you wanted to ask God. i pray that you'll keep safe and be deeply joyful tho you miss home. 6months is nothing eh!
btw your drumset is missing. i sold it at AMK cash converter for 300bucks. okay just joking. thanks so much for being generous. i won't pai seh one.
when i take chio chio im going to take the pedal board that i forgot that day. hehe. dun worry i'll take care of chio chio well.

till we meet again. roger out!

Bang Bang

2008-01-02T18:28:00.000+08:00

the past 3 weeks after coming back from thailand has been crazy. but before that. there is much to give thanks for the thailand trip.
1month ago we were beating red lights in bangkok while on a military exercise but this time it was more of an awesome civilian experience!
the trip was planned very abruptly. started with andrew and i thinking of having a vacation together. somehow the team comprising bugs jiali daniel andrew and i got together. i must say it was a perfect holiday team! easy going and fun loving, we managed to create a very enjoyable and successful holiday.
and we managed to support pastor khong in the sea games. it was such an exhilarating time. never knew how difficult polo was until we saw the match unfold before us.

here are some pictures of it.

(dinner in chinatown. where we got cheated by jia li that the birdnest very nice. dun think we forget ah! hahaha)

(the pretty thai models during the prize ceremony. =O while taking the picture the THAI NATIONAL POLO team were waiting for us to take finish our photos so they can take with them. pai seh man. real singaporeans huh)

(The singapore fans!)

(in attempt to navigate around jatujak market)

(best buddy tee shirts. shucks mine shrunk cannot wear alr)

(us trying out our bangkok steals. andrew sucking in his tummy there. dun bruff)

Dream On

2007-12-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

thanks for coming down to support us friends and family... and those who helped to sms. we din bag anything. i dun think we deserve to. but anyhow thanks so much. im happy its done and over with and now can start to look forward to going for holiday next week!

Play On

2007-12-08T11:49:00.000+08:00

Presenting....

Messenger Band!

hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo..

this is definitely the biggest competition we've entered so far! God help us!

He who never left home...

2007-11-29T14:02:00.000+08:00

On the gruesomely vandalized black old school cupboard one stood out from the rest of the nonsense.

"He who never left home never knew the joy of returning"

its been a good 2 weeks. as i look back on perfect hindsight. army life has been a roller coaster ride. throwing me off at many points, creating some adrenaline rush and excitement yet wanting to get off it fast sometimes.
im glad its coming to a close. 1year and 10months. time really flies when you have flown past it. it crawls when you are stucked in it. i think for me the the most crucial thing is not to have any regrets when i think back about my experience in NS.
and although i did not expect myself being where i was, all in all it has weaved together to form a very 'positive experience' hmm. sounds vaguely familiar.
and i think it ties in very well with my motto: "positive thinking!!"
when people crap on you just chant "positive thinking, positive thinking!!!" or when i find myself complaining like an israelite in the desert i would remind myself. its easy to join the crowd when things are going bad and grumble and fumble over the little things. but to get yourself out of that horrible ugly manifestation of character, it takes supernatural willpower. and thats what we all need often!

i learnt also that bad times are good times. they are defining moments.

Passage Romans 5:3-5:
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;

and perseverance, proven character;

and proven character, hope;

and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

thanks you for all. good times and bad times!

sa wad di karp

2007-11-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Its 24th of November now.

3 more days till i get home.

Its been an eye-opening past 10 days. The experience that i had were very defining. Think it really brings my army life to a good and complete closure. Its interesting how i got rare chances to chat with some people and in the midst of doing so, gave answers and direction to those burning in my mind.

bpai laew. to singapore lio lio!

ORD loh!!! soon.

can start the amazing 2month countdown.